Plumeria

What in the world?

2011-08-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

Not feeling rested when I awoke all week led to a series of surreal dreams last night. Part of the Jersey Shore cast were some of my 8th graders. Since some of the class' books were not covered they were put into Category 1 from Torchwood's Miracle Day mini-series. Then we were being observed on one side of a room, not the one I currently occupy, while others were just hanging out and hugging on another side of the room. Then I went down a long hallway met a scientist who helped me and my ex-husband take a tulip bulb and put it in a solution while pumping it with extra water. It was supposed to then sprout early but the bulb had been a female creature, not quite animal/insect but somewhere in between. Now we were wondering what the new creature would be when adding the tulip part to it. So my ex (who in reality I haven't seen in years) went to go lie down in a geodesic dome that on the inside looked like my first apartment.

Note to self: No more toast before bedtime.

Slings and Arrows

2011-07-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

So many hurtful comments have come to my knowledge recently that it pains me to say that I'm a softie and why don't people know this? I am not nearly as Teflon-proof as I appear to be...sigh. Perhaps, the Greteling of my exterior is to protect against these at worst malicious & at best clueless comments, yet the slings and arrows always manage to make it to the cushiony interior that deflates with sorrow upon their arrival....sigh.

Random Musing on an Overcast Summer Day

2011-06-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

The overgrown bush outside of my window thinks that it is a tree. It has great aspirations to touch the sky and to overshadow all other plants in its way. Very happily intimidating as it provides shelter from the creepy next door neighbor....

Been a while

2011-03-14T22:15:00.001-07:00

I have not been on for nearly four years. Part of it was the change to MySpace, then Facebook, then Twitter, and back to Facebook but mostly it was the birth of Nathaniel Scott Nelson. He has changed my life in ways that I cannot even remotely explain. He is such a HAPPY soul that it makes me smile.

Miscellanea....mostly baby stuff

2007-02-16T19:03:00.000-08:00

Lots of flotsam and jetsam in my head. Here goes:

So the taxes are done. So simple online.
February is drawing to a quick close and the one good thing about global warming is that I won't have to freeze in a house with a broken heater anymore.
Baby is doing beautifully. S/he passed the amnio tests with flying colors. In other words, there are no chromosomal defects of any kind. Which means I get to warp the child in the traditional way: through parenting.
The head looked huge in last ultrasound and still twenty weeks to go (after Tues., Feb. 20) The term ouch is already coming to mind.
Due date was pushed back to original date which is July 10, 2007.
My refusal to learn gender of the baby was called, "Old School Pregnancy" by one of my students.
Going to Kauai with parents on first week of my spring break. I can't wait for April!!!!
Felt the baby kick for three, rhythmic bubble popping times on way to work last Friday. However, s/he has been remarkably silent since then...sigh.
Got my hospital stuff on last dr. visit on the 12th.
Registered after amnio on Jan. 31st. My sisters were a blast to hang out with that day!!!!
I had a great Valentine's day with my parents after attending a union meeting.
My "job" as an Exec. Board member has been eye-opening.
We're well under way with Science Fair projects and as if Christyn and I didn't have enough to do we decided to take on doing a yearbook (for the first time ever at our school) too. We're certifiable! Probably why the kids like us so much.
Actually created a myspace account for students. I really didn't want them reading my "adult" one because of personal content.
FINALLY DECIDED TO UPDATE BLOGS....even though I'm the only one who reads me anymore....giggle.
Have had really interesting texting conversations with Matt, and Joe recently.
Found out I can still massage people. Jeanine ordered one last week.
Found out I can still dance....which I must admit was a little scary since I have not attempted to do anything that strenuous since I tore the ligaments in my ankle. I was pulled out of the audience at an assembly yesterday to dance with the conductor of the Cesar Chavez High School Jazz Band. It was fun!!!!! And I didn't break or tear anything! YAY!!!!

And on that note I'm going to "trip the light fantastic" out of here!

Take care one and all!!!!

February Fests

2007-02-01T18:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday
to my sister,
Jennie
to my friend,
Cathy
and to my aunts,
Ellie and Flo.

Happy Groundhog's Day, Lincoln's Birthday, Washington's Birthday and Black History Month to you all!!!

Oh yeah and that funky, amateur's hour holiday too.....Valentine's Day....Hope it's a good one.

2007-01-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO THE WORLD GIANNA CLAIRE SMITH!!!!

Born to friends, Joe & Liz Smith, on January 11 at 4:15 p.m.
She's 7 pounds, 2 ounces and has her mother's beauty and just possibly her father's stubbornness. Tee hee!!!!

January Milestones

2007-01-01T18:52:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Happy birthday to me.

Catch a hint as to what is important in January?

Happy Birthday

to my

BEST FRIENDS

Christyn and Shanda

to Christyn's very intelligent son,

Adrian,

to my cousin,

Alex,

to my lovely and talented grandmother,

Meryl

and to the late, great
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!!!!!

Baby & Other Updates

2006-12-28T21:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been swamped as so many people are with goings on in the last month of the year....so here goes as well as I can remember:

1. Was elected to be the Middle School Representative to the STA's (my union) Executive Board and went to first meeting at the beginning of the month.
2. Was only one of two teachers to help organize data and come up with solutions for the Leadership Team at school to look at for our Single Plan. (Every school has to write one thanks to governmental oversight.)
3. Chaperoned the Seventh Grade Dance. THE KIDS WERE SOOOOOO CUTE!!!
4. Went to see a play, up in the foothills, with my parents and a friend of theirs (who turned out to be really cool) and started spotting. Not as scary as last time but this time it lasted a whole week and was gelatinous at times. SO I made a new appointment to see the doctor...two weeks before next check up AND LO AND BEHOLD~the day before the appointment (I had to get sub and call in a sick day) the spotting STOPPED!!!
5. Dr. said baby's heartbeat was wonderfully strong. As we listened I could not be more surprised at it's rapidity. Doc counted and was 172 bpm which is good for now. Will slow later I'm told. Dr. said all my labs from before were clean, I am negative for cystic fibrosis (which means automatically baby is too) and also said not to worry re spotting. At this point and with this heartbeat I will not miscarry from spotting. I was strangely not concerned this time. MY FAMILY ON THE OTHER HAND NEEDED THE REASSURANCE. So it was nice to give it to them.
6. Went to see the kids (8 out of 10 nieces and nephews) in the school winter program. I had a ball of course. Not too bad that it was preceded by the tamale night fundraising dinner and my family wouldn't let me pay.
7. Had a FABULOUS time at Joe & Liz's holiday gathering!!! I hadn't laughed so much in I can't remember how long.
8. Had another FABULOUS time at Ann Samuelson's holiday gathering the very next day.
9. Shanda spent a weekend with me and we went to the movies. Her treat. BEING PREGNANT IS GREAT!!!! People are sooooooooooo generous! ;-)
10. I cleaned the entire house...very carefully....and decorated for the Family Progressive. It turned out Carin & Karie forgot which date and weren't ready for their house to be seen so I did both appetizers and salads. I was really good and didn't overdo it with the food. We all were better about that this year.
11. Of course helped Mom and Dad out before Christmas Eve with the office's calendars.
12. 6277 texted me on the 23rd that he's done thinking and is happy I'm pregnant. In case you were wondering, he's the dad of baby.
13. Saw Baby's BioDad for first time in two months on the 24th before he went to work. For two people who are claustrophobic and not into cuddling because of it all we did was hold each other for the whole hour....ah the irony....and bliss! :-)
13. Then helped out Christmas Eve with dinner. So GREAT to see most of my favorite cousins and their kids.
14. Spent Christmas Day & Afternoon touring siblings' houses, passing out Christmas books to nephews & nieces and seeing what everyone got from Santa.
15. Been taking it easy the rest of the week but am now off to Sac to pick up friend from airport. Poor Shawn. His grandmother passed away and he had to fly home to Chicago on Christmas to attend funeral a few days later. SOOOOOOOOOOOO SAD.
16. Won money playing poker at Jeanine's. Decided to split the pot with Anna Chase since by that time the two of us just kept going back and forth over who was in first.
17. Going to babysit Robbie, Carina and Lelan while Jen and Todd go celebrate their anniversary.
18. OH YEAH almost forgot: Got a due date, finally: July 17, 2007. Which is the same day my parents met, so you can bet that for once they're hoping the baby will actually be born on it's due date. Me too...although I wouldn't mind ten days earlier. 07-07-07 HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?????

HAPPY NEW YEAR>>>>Be back, I hope, before my birthday.

December Celebrations of a Personal Nature

2006-12-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah~~~Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Year's....like you didn't already know. CELEBRATE THEM ALL....if you so choose.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

To nephews: Nicholas (the 25th) and his brother, Benjamin (the 22nd)

My cousins: Liz and Rosie

My friends and their family members: Nadine, Jeanine, Joanie, Stephanie, Veg

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

My sister, Jennifer and favorite brother-in-law, Todd.

One of My Dreams Come True

2006-11-18T17:43:00.000-08:00

Chalk up another tally in the column of "Why this is my favorite year of life!" column~

I'm pregnant!!!!!

I found out on Wednesday, November 8, 2006. The baby will be due in July, 2007. Coincidentally I already had an ob/gyn appointment for the end of this month. I decided to not try for sooner (although I'm sure they would've fit me in) since I had made that appointment in October and knew that that was the soonest I could get in in the afternoon. I'd just as soon hold onto my sick days for as long as possible.

My sperm donor knows, my family and closest friends know, some co-workers and as of Thursday, November 16, 2006 all of my students know. I have had such amazingly positive responses that I feel doubly blessed. One blessing to finally have a dream come true and the other to have so many in my life support that dream!!!!

I feel healthy (no morning sickness) and exceptionally calm! Emotionally I feel at peace in a way I never have before. Very Zen.

Anyway, blessings to all and may you have a dream come true this year as well!

OUCH

2006-11-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

I managed to slam my finger into Shanda's car door and the door locked in place. I had to "rip" (think jarring wrench with flesh being torn) my finger out of the door as Shanda had already gone inside with the keys. Jenna tried to help me open the door but it was "no can do." So it was: BREATHE, PULL and RUN inside to put into cold ice water to slow the swelling. Mind you the blood that was dripping into the glass from the torn section made the water look like a Jackson Pollock version of a cocktail for Halloween.

It took me two weeks after tearing the ligaments in my ankle (and straining one on the outside of my knee...doctor finally confirmed that) to take a pain pill. It took less than five minutes after finger injury to ask Jenna to get me the last of the prescription strenghth stuff. I couldn't open the little bottle as it was the index finger of my right hand. AND YEAH, I'm right handed. Darn.

All's well now. It's healing slowly but surely. However, I'm going to have a gnarly scar. It looks like all those maps of the Nile River you had to study in social studies as a kid. Which makes it REALLY "tight" to show to my seventh grade students. Tee hee.

November Wishes

2006-11-01T19:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday~

Lelan Scott Burgher

Jason Scott "Animal" Feilzer

Wendy of Wendy's Wonderful World

Happy Anniversary Larry and Susan Borges!

Get Out and VOTE

and I quote my nephew, Dalin,

"If you think like us."

Peaceful Veteran's Day!

Happy Thanksgiving to All!!!!!

Soul Room

2006-10-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside'>http://www.blogthings.com/insidetheroomofyoursoulquiz/">Inside the Room of Your Soul

Roller Coaster Ride

2006-10-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN....dang roller coaster of life.

Things have been insane the last few weeks. There are times when I'm flying with the emotion of elation and other times wallowing in analyzing how something went sooooooooo wrong.

My answers to Jeff's "Raskal" survey and Jeanine's ABC quiz

2006-10-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

My answers to Jeff's "Raskal" survey
---NINE Last Things You Did---
1. last place you were: Duck Nook eating huevos rancheros.
2. last hug: Shawn
3. last beverage: Coffee (was there any doubt?)
4. last movie watched: "Akeelah and the Bee" showed it in class for last day before our fall break.
5. last phone call: My sister, Jennifer, telling me that she and her husband and the two oldest kids couldn't come to closing night of the play.
6. last cd played: A mix cd that Shawn made.
7. last bubble bath: August 30th.
8. last time you cried: Yesterday...onstage...two tears.
9. last alcohol drink: Too much vodka, opening night party.
---EIGHT Have You Ever Questions---
1. have you ever dated someone twice: No
2. have you ever been cheated on: No
3. have you ever kissed someone: DUH....I should damn well hope so at my age. Yes.
4. have you ever kissed someone you regret: NEVER. Don't believe in regrets
5. have you ever fallen in love:Often
6. have you ever lost someone: Unfortunately yes
7. have you ever been depressed: Again unfortunately yes but I try not to inflict my strong emotions on others....my problems, I better handle them.
8. have you ever been drunk and thrown up: I have been drunk many times and NEVER thrown up because of it. I did once pull a cigarrette out of a friend's hand and smoked the rest of it and THAT made me puke.
---SEVEN Politics Questions---
1. Sex before marriage? From 1-18 I didn't believe in it ...after 18 I changed my mind.....and didn't have sex until I was 2 months away from 22nd birthday btw. Was married at 28 so you do the math.
2. Gay Marriage?: My sister, Carin, is a lesbian and I was a proud bridesmaid in her committment ceremony to her partner, Karie, ten years ago. YOU BETTER BELIEVE I THINK THEY DESERVE THE SAME LEGAL RIGHTS TO MARRIAGE AS I DO!!!! The law forbidding it is STUPID in the extreme.
3. Lowering the drinking age? Sure if the government is willing to pick up the tab on more drunken and disorderly behavior.
4. 9/11? Too many conspiracy theories in my brain on this one. Especially upsetting that innocent people all over the world have died for religious and political intolerance because of it.
5. Abortion? I will never have to make the choice of someone facing an abortion so I believe that it should remain legal. I can't put myself in the position to say no to someone else since I don't know how or what they are going through to get to this point. I wish we had access to the after sex pill (RU 486) which eliminates any recently (24-48 hour period I think?) fertilized egg because then we'd have less chance of people using abortions as birth control.
6. Death Penalty? Morally I have a problem with it but I understand that we put down "rabid" dogs and that there are humans that are born without a conscience who perhaps also deserve due to the nature of their crimes to be "put down" as well. I just know that our legal system is still so flawed that many innocent people are actually imprisoned and if even one of them is put to death by the state then we as a society are just as equally guilty in not valuing life.
7. Gun Control? I believe that people have the right to bear arms but that just like everything else they should be licensed, have to pass tests, etc. WE EXPECT IT OF DRIVERS WHY NOT SHOOTERS?
---SIX Random Questions---
1. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party? Yes, but they left the inviting of people up to my brother, David, and my friend, Shawn. NEITHER OF WHOM asked anyone to come until the last second. So it was something of a miserable disaster. My poor sisters tried. They just had no idea how clueless David and Shawn are when it comes to stuff like that.
2. Are you easily excited? Depends on what you mean by excitement.
3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about? My week off of vacation. I can SLEEP IN if I want to. Right now that's about all I can get excited about. I'M EXHAUSTED!!!!
4. Which of your friends gets you the most excited? Again, what do you mean by excited? If you mean sexually, then it'd be Matt.
5. If you won a million dollars what would be your first thought? "I better call a financial planner now!"
6. If you could have anything right now, what would it be? A week's vacation on a warm beach somewhere with LOADS of money to spend after the vacation was over.-
--FIVE People You Can Tell Anything To---
1) Joe
2) Christyn
3) Jennie
4) Shawn
5) AND ALWAYS; Shanda!
---FOUR Places You Want To Travel To---
1. The UK
2. China
3. Egypt
4. Alaska
---THREE Favorite Colors---
1. Forest Green
2. Fire Engine Red
3. Bronze
---TWO Things You Want To Do Before You Die---
1. Have a baby, and raise that child to be open minded, creative and independent.
2. Write a book.
---ONE Last List of Questions---
So Far in '06, Have you:
-been to school: Yes, massage school. I'm now certified.
-made a new friend: Yes, many. Myspace has been very good to me.
-laughed until you cried: Always. Worse is that I laugh until I start to cough. Then I can't laugh at all....just convulse.
-went behind your parents back: I have a good relationship with my parents BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT!!! So no.
-cried over an ex: Not over an ex-husband, nor ex-lover but yes after some ex-friends who I miss but realize that we no longer believe the same things and that closeness can be lost.
-disappointed someone close: No but unfortunately lately been on the opposite end and been disappointed in someone close.
-pretended to be happy: Any time I'm in a karaoke bar. Sort of kidding.
-kept your new years resolution: I don't believe in them. I've never made a resolution at the beginning of the year. Maybe because I believe that when you want to change your life...you will, regardless of time. Also, I'm a New Year's baby (the 2nd of Jan.) so I make WISHES at that time of year. Usually for others not myself....more likely to come true that way.
-forgot your new years resolution: see above
-met someone who changed your life: I am fortunate enough to say that this year I've met MANY people who have changed my life.
-changed your outlook on life? No. More like had it crystallized down to it's essence.
-left the state: Yes went to Hawaii with the family in June, and to a representative assembly for the National Educators' Association in Florida in July.
-lost someone:Thankfully not this year. I hope that lasts.
-gotten close to someone: Very much so.
-streaked: Not unless you count running around backstage to get to your next costume and your next entrance.
-given up something important to you: Yes and it was worth it.
-found out who your true friends were: Yes and they're all pretty damned special.

My answers to Jeanine's ABC's Current mood: bouncy
A is for age: "Old enough to know better. Young enough not to care." 40...don't you read the profile?
B is for beer of choice: BLECH!!! Don't do beer.
C is for career:I have two. Teaching and massage therapist.
D is for favorite Drink: Sperm. JOKE!!!! Water...great...now all the freaks on the internet will come out of the woodwork to meet me.
E is for essential item you use everyday: Car keys.
F is for favorite song at the moment: It's a classical guitar piece. Don't know the title.
G is for favorite games: Guess the hand.
H is for hometown: Stockton, CA
I is for instrument you play: Use to play piano as kid and clarinet as teen but can't play anything but the skin flute as an adult.
J is for favorite juice: Grapefruit.
K is for kids:Why I'm divorced. My husband stopped wanting kids and then stopped wanting me...so unfortunately none of my own. I currently have 95 of other peoples' kids. My students are the best!!! Every year I'm blessed with fabulous kids....I just don't get to keep them.
L is for last kiss: Real kiss: Matt Stage kiss: Jeremy S.
M is for marriage: I believe in the institution for others.
N is for name of your best friends: Christyn, Shanda, Shawn, Joe, Liz, Jeanine, Tony
O is for overnight hospital stays: Never had one. SURPRISING HUH? Y'all thought I was such a klutz that I must have my own private room.
P is for phobias: Don't have one. I don't particularly care to witness decapitation but it's not a phobia.
Q is for quote: "Up the British and down with the enemy!" Black Comedy's motto. But my favorite was my own set of lines: "I never saw you at all. How could you be walked out on? You should live in the dark Brindsley. It's your natural element." and "It means you don't want to be seen. Why is that Brindsley? Are you afraid that if someone really saw you they would never love you?" My favorite quote at any given time is usually one of my lines from a current or recent show.
R is for biggest regret: Experiences are for the having. So why regret a thing. I don't have any and I don't believe I ever will. Mistakes yes...regrets NEVER!
S is for self confidence: Currently....better believe it.
T is for time you wake up: Physically 6-7 but mentally 10
U is for your underwear: Commando...so flesh tone. OH unless you mean bra...because I'm so big God knows I have to wear one. I prefer two styles...they only come in black, white and beige. I'D LOVE A RED ONE....sigh.
V is for vegetable you love: I love them all. Asparagus or broccolli if I HAD to choose.
W is for worst habit: Closing myself off to opportunities with other men when I crush on one.
X is for X-Men: I LOVE Wolverine!!! I have since the cartoon came out. Jaye said that I'm Jean Grey a loooooooooooong time ago....until current movie came out I was not happy about that. I always thought I was more Rogue (can't be touched>>yeah, lot's of under-the-surface, subtext there) but after seeing X3 I'd have to say I am Jean...and I've learned to love me...so I guess her too.
Y is for yummy food you make: Christie's Cilantro Chicken
Z is for zodiac sign: My ancient Greek one is Capricorn, my Chinese is Serpent and I have no idea what my Vedic one is.

Feeling Fiery

2006-10-12T22:55:00.000-07:00

Your Love Element Is Fire

In love, you are a true listener and totally present.
For you, love is all about feeling more alive than you've ever felt.

You attract others with your joy and passion.
Your flirting style is defined by your strong ability to communicate.

Fun and play are the cornerstones of your love life.
And while your flame may burn too brightly, it's part of your appeal.

You connect best with: Wood

Avoid: Water

You and another Fire element: will likely burn out quickly

What Element Is Your Love?

Accidental Joke

2006-10-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

So I received a text the other day which cracked me up. It was from a stranger. I actually replied, "Who are you? And that was hysterical. My best friend will love it." And she did love it primarily because we'd had a similar conversation JUST THE DAY BEFORE. So the randomness of it and the humor of it caught me unawares and happily surprised.

It turns out that it was a wrong number. The sender accidentally transposed two numbers in her sister's cell number and got mine. I let her know it wasn't a problem and she sent me a funnier text the next day. I had to know if it was for me or her sister and this time it was an intentional send. Jackie, my former wrong number, had decided I would have understood the joke and wanted to send to someone who would appreciate it. HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!?!?! The cosmic forces at work in the universe have definitely been looking out for me lately. They've sent all sorts of new people into my life, either casually or more intimately, just when I needed them. SUPERBLY AWESOME TIMING!!!

Many people view life as an accident or a joke....I'm of the opinion that that is not the case. This last week has definitely proven it to me.

So no joke is accidental....even when it wasn't meant for you. Look for the hidden meanings and life, the joke, your relationships may seem more clear afterwards.

Enjoy creation!
Night.

Oh and the original wrong number text is as follows (sorry for the profanity)

FW: Sexy Bitches!

We R Hated by Plenty,

Wanted by Many,

Disliked by Some,

but

Confronted by NONE!!

So here's to the sexy bitches everywhere!!! Unite and be bold....your future is coming!

Sometimes I LOVE my horoscope!!!

2006-10-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

My horoscope for tomorrow from astronet.com

In one of your newer relationships, things are well on their way toward gaining real momentum. This is a partnership built on mutual respect and a shared sense of what is the right. Finding a person a person who brings out the best in you no matter what mood you're in is rare -- this is a person you can rely on, a person you should rely on. You are starting to align yourself with the people who deserve you. Let others from your past stay there.

Five Factors Value Test from Blogthings

2006-10-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:

You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.

Honesty:

You value honesty a fair amount.
You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it.
If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it.
In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity."

Generosity:

You value generosity highly.
So much so that you often put your own needs last.
There's nothing wrong with having a caring heart...
But you may want to rethink your "open wallet" policy.

Humility:

You value humility highly.
You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.
And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better.
You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance highly.
Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...
You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.
You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

Venn Diagram

2006-10-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

What a difference a day makes. I was so down, for various reasons, at the beginning of this week. I wrote about it in blog form and then in poem which apparently helped tremendously. The very next day I awoke and all was well with my internal world once again. AND even though it was my dad's birthday and I didn't get to see or speak to him (because he and my mother went away for their birthdays) I still had fabulous day that became an even better week. OH and you know the week was long, tedious, frustrating and tough BUT it was still better than when you're disappointed with others and wonder why you bother to care.

If I was forced to compare Sunday with Monday (or Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or today) in a Venn diagram the only part that would be common is that I was alive on those days. Everything else was completely different. It's amazing what little changes in one's environment or the people you surround yourself with can make.

Have a fab Friday everyone!

Zephyr

2006-10-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

Whisper
Hint
Inkling
Hot Air
Babble
Rumor

Wind
Blowing sound your way.

The valley is clean
But the soul is troubled
Weighed down by betrayal
Uncertainty as to where to land next.

Breathe the rainswept air
Inhale a freshness not found in those
You foolishly thought were trustworthy.

Remember that there are others that
Will not lie to you.
That will trust you with their truths
That will support your own
Even when they conflict.

Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.

Mistral
Scirrocco
Gale
Chinook
Waft
Zephyr

Blow away the hurt.

Miss You

2006-10-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Shanda,
Thank you for understanding when I needed to cry. I miss you.

Dear Grandpa,
Thank you for being so influential in my life. You're worth crying over. I miss you.

Dear Paul,
You have no idea how hard it has been not talking to you this past week and a half. I miss you.

Dear Wendy,
Your writing is an inspiration still. I haven't had nearly enough opportunity to read and respond. I miss you.

Dear Strong Me,
Thank you for deserting me because sometimes I need to be reminded that it's ok to be upset; also, that when people let you down there are always others to pick you up. Although I miss you too...so come back soon.

Take care!
Love, Me

Little Lifts

2006-10-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how the smallest things can lift your spirits?

Some recent buoyancies:

1. Seeing a text/IM on phone that Paul is BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
2. A hug from my coffee guy, Juan, who's missed seeing me in the mornings.
3. The stranger at Borders who hoped that "...the other guy better look worse." When noticing my air cast.
4. Having a reunion of people you actually WANT to see!
5. My cat letting me take pictures of her.
6. Being complimented on a t-shirt.
7. Waddie Earnest saying, "To heck with y'all, Ms. Nelson IS my favorite teacher!"
8. Carina showing me that she's now reading my ultimate favorite book as a child, Little Women.
9. Actually getting to party with Shanda and Jen....God knows we had trouble getting the date set.
10. Texting Joe.
11. Having Jeanine want to hire me as a masseuse for her mother.
12. Getting a Thai foot massage.
13. Walking up my stairs NORMALLY.
14. Putting extra blanket on bed because it's getting chilly at night.
15. Reading library books and sleeping in afternoon or early evening AND NOT HAVING TO STOP!!!!

Hope little things are making you as light as a feather!!!!

October Celebrations

2006-10-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to~~~

DAD

MOM

Robert F. Stoughton, Jr.

Ellena Weldon

Happy Anniversary

Wendy and Her Hub!

Larry and Susan Borges!!!!

Seasons of Love

2006-09-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

I have been touched recently by the outpouring of concern since my accident. It has made me value even more all those who are compassionate, empathetic and loving. To those whom I love and have loved who are no longer here and even more importantly to those who have loved me I dedicate the following song:

Seasons of Love

by the late, great

Jonathan Larson

from his musical "Rent"

525,600 minutes

525,000 moments so dear

525, 600 minutes

How do you measure,

measure a year?

In daylight,

In sunsets,

In midnights,

In cups of coffee?

In inches,

In miles,

In laughter,

In strife?

In 525,600 minutes.

How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?

Measure in love.

Seasons of love (round like echo of other singers-love)

525,600 minutes

525,000 journeys to plan

525,600 minutes

How do you measure

the life of a woman or a man?

In truth that she learned?

Or in times that he cried?

In bridges he burned?

Or the way that she died?

It's time now

to sing out !

Though the story never ends.

Let's celebrate

Remember

a year in the life of friends!

(Group) Remember the love

(Solo singer simultaneously)Oh you've got to, you've got to remember LOVE

Love

You know that love is a gift from up above

Love

Share love, give love, spread love

Love

Measure, measure your life in love

Seasons of love

Seasons of love (round like echo of other singers-love)

Measure, measure your life in love

OH~~~~~Thank you for giving me something to measure!!!;-)

Earth, Wind and Fire

2006-09-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday in September

to
Todd Burgher

Susan Borges

Michael Cobbs

Brian Williams

Greg Dart

and Jimmy Young

No anniversaries...HOWEVER, Shanda will someday remedy that for me! YAY!

I hope everyone had a restful Labor Day weekend! Take care!

* Note on title:
My Favorite Secular Song of All Time is SEPTEMBER by Earth, Wind and Fire.

Couch Jumping is Hazardous to Your Health

2006-09-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

So yeah, we all know that I'm a klutz! On Monday, August 28, 2006 I was doing my best to be a true actress!! All those times someone said, "Break a leg!" I'd respond, "I probably will."

OK WORSE than broken leg is torn ligaments. Bones heal faster but unfortunately, ligaments take much longer. I know because now I have to wait for my left ankle to heal from a fall that occurred during a rehearsal. I had a jump onto a couch and then over the back of it as I was "getting away" from another cast member. I did the jumps fine four times or so in a row. The killer jump was with last fifteen minutes to go and the director being nice tome said, "Let's do Christina's entrance one more time since she won't be here again until Friday."

I jumped up fine. However, the over was not so hot. My knee went one way and my ankle another. I even passed out for a little bit. The cast and crew were phenomenal. I couldn't have got to my car without their assistance and their concern buoyed me through the pain.

I wouldn't have gone to hospital if it weren't for two very kind and generous souls living far from me. Thank you Paul and Shanda. Without your guilting me into going to the er I probably would be worse off than I am now!! I owe you both more than I can ever type.

In the end it's all fine. I will survive. I didn't even have to take pain pills. Of course the moral of this story is if you can cut something short and leave early because it's gone well up until then....LEAVE!!!! Do not tempt fate~~~OR THE COUCH GODS! Tee hee.

Hope everyone else out there in the big, bad world is not losing too many fights with furniture! Take care. Love, Moi

Ooooh! Freaky!

2006-08-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable.

Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

I Don't Get This

2006-08-25T23:47:00.000-07:00

Copied straight from Jeanine's Bulletin Board post. I have no idea who originally authored it....if it was her she didn't say. My answers are in bold.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY. (Let's see if you can get through it. If not, you're too scared about your past)
-Longest relationsip
Define relationship for me, please. If person you're in contact with that you love>40 years, if creature you live with and love>17 going on 18 years, if LOVER person that you hung out with or lived with or whatever then 7 years.

-Shortest relationship
Does one night stand count? Especially if he asked to marry you and that's why he only got one night?

-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?
All of them. What's not to love?

-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?
Person you were with? SO AMORPHOUS!!!!! If you mean romantically with then I did.

-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
If you haven't been hurt by someone you loved then you didn't love them at all. People that you love know your most vulnerable aspects and sometimes they trample all over your fields of weakness.

-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
No, I intentionally go out of my way to make them happy...which has led to tears of my own.

-Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Neither. I'm happy wherever I am. If I'm single today then I'm happy. If I'm "WITH" (God that's annoying) someone then I'm happy. Happiness is not nor should it be gauged on who you are with externally but on how you feel about yourself. People that need others to make them complete don't know how to love themselves. Happiness comes from within. So does misery. You choose which way to be regardless of your relationship status.

-Have you ever been cheated on?
No. I at least have had the brilliance to fall for monogamous men.

-What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
The same thing it is in the same sex: Intelligence.

-Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes (twice if you're counting) and thank God I did. What a misanthropic way to live if at the age of 40 I hadn't. It's also been banged around and bruised but then so has the rest of me....lost count on that.

-Have you ever broken someone's heart?
No. At least no one has ever told me that I broke their heart. Which I guess is a blessing. It means I was careful with the emotions of people I love(d).

-Talk to any of your exes?
Any time they contact me. I happen to be on good terms with anyone I've ever "been with" sexually, romantically, married to, etc. They all go on and on about how wonderful I am. Just goes to show that it wasn't meant to be. I can't hold that against them. Why should I? An ex is an ex for a reason. Doesn't mean I can't like the person just because I can't be "WITH" (I think I'm going to gag if I have to type that word one more time. ;-) You think I jest but I don't.) him in a love/sex/committment way.

-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
NEVER! If I did then I wouldn't be the me that I am now. I wouldn't be living the life that I am now. Each one of those relationships honed a facet of my personality and character. Each one gave me a history I can look back on. What's the point in going back and erasing that?

-Think any of your exes feel the same way?
Actually most of my exes (flames, lovers, husband) think the opposite. Almost each one has commented (some quite recently :-O) that they would love to "get back together again." SO NOT HAPPENING>because the past is the past and that is the way it should stay. I don't believe in revisionist history or fairy tales that the second, third, whatever time around will be better than the last. If it had been meant to stay then it would have. I need to honor the fact that it didn't and move forward.

-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I don't know if I'd make a good boyfriend not having a penis and all but if you read the last paragraph then you know I make an awesome girlfriend...if I do say so myself. Well, actually I don't have to say so since my exes say it for me. My pseudo-currents do too.

-Have you dated people who were not good to you?
I don't date really. I know someone for a long time through school, work, or theater and then at some point the relationship changes and goes to next level. Or in case of a few, lustful pickups that turned into long term hangouts. If someone isn't "good" to me then that's my fault...I am allowing them to be that way. You don't have to have those people in your life. I mean yes I know that we all have work, family, activities of interest we engage in where we are STUCK dealing with some hideous people but if you're talking about someone you SUPPOSEDLY love than why would you let them do that to you? Only answer is because you're foolish enough to think that's what you deserve. YOU DON'T!!! No one does. Don't victimize yourself...get out, move on. It is possible...not easy but possible and in the long run you learn that you are your own strength and you WON'T allow someone to put you in that position again.

-Have you been in an abusive relationship?
Physically>no. Emotionally and verbally>yes and that's how I learned my most valuable lesson. You only allow others to do unto you what they will. If you let them treat you wrong they will. If you INSIST on being treated right you will. It's up to you.

-Have you dated someone older then you?
No. Although have recently started chatting with one who is...and he's pretty darned special....we shall see.

-Younger?
All the time. From a few months to many years. For some reason younger men find me very attractive.

-Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?NOPE. Regrets are silly. Making mistakes is a part of life. Luckily all the people...not just bfs...that I love, or have loved know the goodness of my heart and have always understood any of my foibles.

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Of course. I always thought the saying was backward. I believe forgiveness is human and forgetting divine. Learning to forget someone's errors automatically gives them another chance.

-Believe in love at first sight?
Ever met my parents? They knew instantly and this week was their 42nd wedding anniversary. After two weeks of bliss they married and lived happily ever after....actually happier than the night they met and told others "That's the one for me."

-Ever dated two people at once?
Dated no...didn't you read above. OK "slept with"....sort of....alternated days....couldn't keep it straight after a week. It was my walking on the wild side July. Every July something special happens for me. At least in the 2000's. That was one freaky summer month a few years back. Didn't know what hit me.....eventually one was more important than the other. Because you don't need a fuck buddy when you have someone else who engages your heart and mind as well as your body.

-Ever been given an engagement ring?
Yes. My fiancee, later husband and even later than that ex-husband was a student and unemployed at the time, so I had to buy it myself. He wanted to propose to me in front of my family at my birthday and romantically asked me first, "Do you have enough money in the checking account to cover a ring?" AND I SAID YES....remember what I wrote earlier...you only get what you allow others to give.

-Do you want to get married?
Not particularly. I've stated before that the man to get me to change my views on my being married would have to be a god.

-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
HERE? Why would I? When they contact me I tell them, "I'm glad I loved you (liked you, lusted after you...hey, depends on the relationship we had) because you taught me something valuable. What are you doing now?" Then I berate them if it's not good for their health: emotionally,mentally, physically, financially or otherwise. Followed up with questions about people that were also part of our shared past: their family members, closest friends, etc. I always cut off the conversation when it heads into that zone of "I was a fool to let you go." Maybe it was their loss but it just wasn't meant to be or they'd still be here.

-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Of course not. Why do you have someone in mind?

-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
OF COURSE I'm HUMAN. It's a natural progression that you like others around you....especially those that are similar in taste to people you care about. Doesn't mean you have to do anything about it...contrary to popular opinion.

-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
It's worse. And a breakup heartbreak is nothing compared to someone who has been married or in lifelong partnership and the other spouse dies. That heartbreak can kill you. Actual studies have been done to show that if you can outlive a partner by one year then you will live to full term of your lifetime. BUT usually a longterm relationship loss of that magnitude kills the remaining spouse within the year. Being celibate and afraid to love for four years seems mild in comparison.

Repost this as the "uncomfortable survey"

NOW THAT'S THE PART I DON'T GET?!?!?!? WHY WOULD THIS SURVEY BE UNCOMFORTABLE????

Just When You Think You Know Yourself...

2006-08-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

Wow! This is trippy...so thought I'd be a different character. Not Carrie...ever.

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date.But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal?It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky.Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what!
Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year...
Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Flat Tire Buoyant Life

2006-08-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in the waiting room of Sears' auto shop. I'm waiting for the new tire to replace the flat that I inadvertantly gave myself earlier in the day. Which reminded me of Valentine's Day. In a way.....

Six months ago plus a day I was getting two (because when older always better to replace two, if not all four...I listened Dad...see?) new tires at Sears and it was going to take a long time. They were really backed up. Everyone and their brother was getting auto work done. So I walk across the parking lot to the local Barnes & Noble to get a coffee. Too tired, bedraggled to even shop for books so you KNOW I was down.

I sit at last available cafe table with my venti soy latte and hear the ring tone that indicates someone's leaving me a text. Look down and it's my favorite smart-ass Joe Smith.
Here is a Tony Yaghi version of that conversation:
JS>What are you doing?
Moi>Trying to get dry, warm up and not feel miserable. Kind of resigned. You?
JS>Watching kids movies with Liz and kids.
Moi>Oh that's right that's this weekend. I don't want to interrupt. Have fun.
JS>Why need to get dry?
Moi>Flat tire.
JS>Need help?
Moi>No, I changed it already. It's already at Sears they're putting on two new ones.
Moi again because don't have much space when texting>It's going to be a while. (see earlier part of blog...pretty much same info.) Drinking latte.
JS>Want company?
Moi>No, I'll be fine.
JS>You sure?
Moi>Actually I'd love some company but don't want to intrude.
JS>Need to get out of house.
Moi>Lol. You can't sit still that long. Must be torture.

So in the end Joe ended up coming over because I was told it would be hours and I was stranded. We drank our Starbucks drinks, he told me stories that made me laugh. I told him what Liz would want as a drink for him to take home.We made jokes about this one book that had great title but all the copies were so jammed into a revolving rack that you couldn't pull it out to buy. Eventually, got a call from Sears that it was still not ready and would take longer than expected. I was supposed to go see a play with Shanda (who was still on drive to Stockton.) So Joe took me home and dropped me off so I could clean up in time to jump in car with Shanda and go.

An everyday occurrence of a friend helping a friend. I was grateful. Went back to Barnes & Noble the next day when car was finally done and found unjammed copy and bought it for Joe as a thank you present. Thought that was the end of the story until yesterday when I had to get replacement tire.

I saw on computer screen that it was six months ago that bought last pair. But the most important part I noticed about the date was its proximity to Valentine's Day. February 17. Now if you've read this blog you know how I feel about VD. ;-) It's such a stupid, silly RETAIL holiday. When I had this epiphany. What Joe did for me was the best kind of present. One that any woman would appreciate. I was feeling as flat as my tire and he saw that and filled me up with good stories, companionship and a little caffeine. When someone anticipates your needs and fulfills them that is the ULTIMATE gift.

So I had this epiphany yesterday that if a guy wanted to give me tires (1 to 4...whatever) I would think that was the most awesome VD gift in the world. Because of the hassle and wait time, etc. Tires would be a sign of caring and the traditional VD presents: jewelry, champagne, roses, dinner is nothing compared to someone who wants to take care of you. Like those Michelin ads say...think about what's riding on your tires.

So I kept looking outside to the hall for Shanda because she's visiting this weekend just like last time and had my second and more grateful epiphany. I thanked God for the air in my tires. The air that is my family and fabulous friends like Joe, Liz, Shanda, Christyn and Shawn. The air that is new acquaintances like Paul and Brett. And I felt as jaunty as my newly balanced and nicely aligned car.

AND YEAH >It didn't hurt that I'd bought the road hazard protection plan and my new tire didn't cost me a thing!

Hence the title of this post: Flat Tire Buoyant Life

Yet another reminder that this is my favorite year of life!

Heart

2006-08-09T16:13:00.000-07:00

Some people touch your heart instantly. Some burrow in over time. Some sledge-hammer you with their needs and nearly bludgeon you out of existence. And others touch you so slightly that you don't notice the influence they left on you until it's too late to thank them for their presence in your life.

The Band {You know who you are ;-) }
Instantaneous

Limo Buds
Burrowers

The Family
Instantaneous

The Exes
Sledgehammer

The Colleagues
Burrowers

Aurora C., Judy W., Jason P., Mrs. Trusaker
Butterfly Touch

Truthfully everyone you meet can be a combination of them all. Which then means that you too have the capacity to touch others with your love, charisma, charm, needs, wants and anguish....touch as lightly as possible. Effleurage like a feather. Create change by being.

Lioness

2006-08-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

Lioness

My feet echo across the worn planks

Rough, Unfinished

zoned for construction

but untouched

since destruction

because of

you.

Musical refrain playing through my head

Your age

Such an innocent number

On the brink of awareness

One step from the unknown

In my time.

An age of experience

On the brink of finality

One step from the unknown

In your time.

Our souls entwined

for all these

years.

A continent's span

A tumbling of time away

Could not separate

Our Bond.

You tolerated others

But loved

me.

Always picking up where we left off.

You knew

Instinctively

That which was right for me.

Rarely did I listen.

And now

You

Struggle.

I lean into assist

Saddened by your dependency.

Yet

You are

Determined

to face this next challenge

alone.

You have my permission

Let your soul flee

When it is time.

And when it is time

My soul

will echo across this

Rough, Unfinished world

Worn and

missing yours.

Polarity Hold

2006-08-07T02:08:00.000-07:00

Polarity Hold

Pole of heat
Gently pulsating
against my hands.

I pull away
Yet I still feel you.
Farther still but...
Your energy is moving me.
My muscles itch
You say you tingle.

My turn
Who flipped the switch?
My shoulders ease
surprising me as I didn't know they were burdened.
I no longer feel
Just pulsate....

My insides being pulled

sideways by you

Now gone.

They said it was a release.
They're right.....yet......
How do they know?

Cool (hard to believe) August Nights {and somewhat cool days too!}

2006-08-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday

Rae Ann Nelson

Karie Nelson

Andy Nelson

Christopher Shore

Frith Stevenson

Ann Samuelson

Brent Teasedale

Jason Vocque

Rob Chase

Happy Anniversary

Mom & Dad

Dixie & Garrett Kinser

Andy & Colleen Nelson

Joe & Liz Smith

Frith & Gary Stevenson

Rob & Bea Chase

Massage School Kicks Ass

2006-07-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Massage School! It is so fascinating what you can do to the body. I know, I know. I've always been fascinated with the body..but now, I'm fascinated in a clinical way. (Evil giggle.)

Honestly, it is such a blast. Anatomy, the strokes we learn, even what should seem simple like draping...all so much fun and so energizing. I can't wait to practice on friends and family.

Unfortunately, no practicing on people I don't know until I'm certified.....unfortunate for them. People have been coming out of the woodwork of course to be guinea pigs. But no can do. They'll have to wait until I'm really good and then get in line behind Tony. T has already said he wants to be my first paid client. WHAT A GREAT COMPLIMENT THAT IS!!!!

Well, I'm all hot and sweaty and off to shower. And no it's not just because it is 112 degrees outside but because I've been in lab class all day. Going back and forth between receiving and giving. AND YES, I know how that sounds. You should hear when the nice, gentle 75 year old founder says, "You'd better knead the butt. The butt needs to be kneaded." Go ahead and say it out loud and you'll be surprised that all I do is crack a smile. It's all so professional and healthy in a positive, medical type way that you don't even go to the more base ways of thinking.

It is interesting to see the different types of people who have some MAJOR body issues. Especially, because if you were walking down the street or saw them in a public place you'd have no clue. I obviously don't have that problem. So that's just another aspect that's awesome. The helping people get over their issues and RELAX!

So this is adding another notch in the "This is my favorite year of life so far" belt!

Take care! TTYL

Robbie's Birthday

2006-07-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today is one of the most important days on the calendar to me. Because it is the anniversary of the day I became a tia. Robbie's TWELVE! Wow! Hard to believe.

And I Thought It Didn't Show

2006-07-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

Your Quirk Factor: 50%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

A Tiny Prayer

2006-07-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

O.K. Watching the news can be more than depressing and informative. It can also make you wish for miracles. Apparently it got as hot as 110 degrees ( a record for this date!) in Stockton. Looking at another week of 100+ weather too. Hence the prayers for a miracle....as in busting the heat. AND not having my poor strained air conditioner busted. (To any deity listening to keyboard taps>)PLEASE LET THE AC WORK!!!!!

Quiz 1Billion and 4?

2006-07-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

Questions I got from Jeanine's MySpace site.
Current mood: contemplative

1) What stickers do you have on your car, if any?
I have none. I had a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker but it started to peel off on one corner due to the tremendous amount of rain we had this last winter. So I just ripped the whole thing off. I saw a bumper sticker in Orlando that I wanted to buy at the NEA Representative Assembly's Non-profit Fundraising tables but it wasn't there when I came back with cash. It said: I love my country but I think we should start seeing other people.

2) What posters do you have in your room?
Nothing. I've never been a fan of posters. I want some art though. Got any cheap for sale?

3) What do you hear right now?
The hepa-filter house fan and my air conditioner (central) straining to cool my two story house in 107 degree weather.

4) If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
Sperm. Hey, it's been a while. OK, OK I was kidding. I really would kill for some water. It's 107...did I mention that?

5) Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My neck strangely enough. Good thing I start massage school tomorrow and first lab day is Thursday.

6) If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?
Why would I bother? A person you hate is a waste of time. Spitting or laughing means that you give them control over your thoughts and emotions. I prefer to leave people I hate behind.

7) What's your job position called?
Teacher. Didn't you read the profile already?

8) What size ring do you wear?
7

9) Do you own a picture phone?
Yes. In fact it's the only reason I own a cell phone.

10) What was your high school's mascot?
We were the Delta Kings (and Queens for the girls' teams) so it was a jester.

11) What's your favorite bottled water?
Whatever's available.

12) What's the next concert/show you're going to and when?
No clue. Hopefully my music loving, concert going friends will set something up. I just go along. Don't have enough initiative to do that.

13) What were you doing at 9 pm last night?
Running on a treadmill. 5% incline and only 3.3 mph. Actually, it was more like jog/walking now that I think about it. I was also watching "Cold Case" on t.v. at same time.

14) What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
Venti soy latte with an extra shot.

15) Do you exercise as much as you should?
Not in the last couple of months. However, just within the last five days I've gotten back to it. I've missed exercising!!!!!!!!

16) Did you attend your High School prom?
No. I was asked but it was a pity request.

17) Did you go to someone else's prom?
No. I was a nerd in high school. I rarely knew anyone at my own school let alone somewhere else.

SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:
Something purple within 5 feet of you.
The flowers on my skirt.

The sexiest item of clothing you own.
A suede skirt that has a zipper all the way down the front.

How long can you hold your breath underwater?
I have no idea.

Favorite Pocky flavor.
I have no idea what a Pocky is. Therefore, I don't have a favorite flavor.

Your nails were last painted.
My toes only and just a few hours ago. A nice, deep, sunsetty color.

The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave.
I've never heated anything I would consider "weird" in the microwave.

Ever done the Electric Slide?
All the time. It's amazing how it's still so popular after all these years.

Ever crash a car, been in accidents?
No. Thank God!

Do you look good in yellow?
I think so.

Do you sing?
Only when no one is listening.

Ever sang in front of a crowd?
My friends are karaoke whores; so what do you think?

Do you dance?
ALWAYS! Whenever music is playing.

Is your hair long enough to chew on?
Barely. I just got it cut short for first time in years.

Least favorite color?
Anything neon.

Favorite kind of pizza?
Margherita

Ever had Dippin' Dots?
Yes but don't care for it.

Ever played an instrument?
Yes. The piano and the clarinet.

How old were you when you got a cell phone?
30 something. I was old. I can't remember.

How old were you when you got your first car?
18

How many tickets do you have?
2 but would have been 3 if I didn't fight one.

Do you want to get married?
No.

At what age do you want to get married?
I did it at age 28 and I'm not going back.

Why did you take this quiz?
I wanted something on my MySpace site even though I just prefer regular blogging here.

Way Prettier than My Real Color

2006-07-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

Take the quiz:
What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)

Eden
You have eden eyes. Eden is the color of water. Your eyes symbolize your great flexibility. You are a creative person. You can think of many good ways to get your point across to people as you have very good communication abilities. When someone feels down or is hurt, you have the remarkable ability to help them and heal them. If you have too little going on in your life, you may be withdrawn and depressed, timid, manipulative, unreliable, stubborn, or suspicious. Some words to describe you: peaceful, sincere, affectionate, tranquil, intuitive, trustworthy, pure, loyal, healing, and stable.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Only Came in XSmall

2006-07-17T17:10:00.000-07:00

O.K. I saw this t-shirt at the car wash. I would've bought it too except it only came in EXTRA SMALL!!!! What's up with that? Those of us in other sizes often feel a sin coming on too you know. It would have been perfect for Freedom Night with Shawn, Shanda and Jen.

What You Say?

2006-07-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

My favorite sayings from Orlando: (Seen on bumper stickers, t-shirts, tote bags and in one instance overheard while standing in line to buy food.)

I have tried everything I can think of to get her to break up with me.

Scrabble....It's your word against mine!

Why are we going to build the Berlin Wall in the Southwest?

I love my country...but I think it's time we started seeing other people.

A war budget leaves every child behind!

There is only one race....HUMAN! All the rest is culture.....Eracism.

July Celebrations

2006-07-08T14:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to The United States of America!

You look good for a 230 year old!

Happy Birthday to {nephews} Dalin (7 on the 2nd)

and Robbie (12 on the 21st)!!!

Happy Birthday to {brother} David!

Happy Birthday to {cousin} Jonathan!

Happy Birthday to Aunt Chris!

Happy Birthday to Joey Rosensteel! (The big 16!)

Happy Anniversary of meeting, Mom and Dad!

Happy Anniversary Carin and Karie!!

Something I Stole from Shanda's Blog...(Just the ?s Not the answers!)

2006-06-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

1.You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, last, and middle name. I can't tell you!!! I'm in the program to hide from people like you! DUH!!!!
2.You are in a threesome with two famous people, alive or dead. Johnny Depp and George Clooney.
3.You are in charge of naming your new band. What's the name of the band? WPP (Short for Witness Protection Program)
4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What would it be?If I could stand the pain it would be an ethnic design of some sort. Maybe a Maori symbol like the koru or an ancient culture one. Not sure. Would have to be colorful.
5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it? Whatever I would sing in WPP. Because I'm that bad of a singer.
6. You are leaving your state/province. What state do you move to?I have already done this. I moved to New York. Lived there for nearly two years. I also lived for a summer (NOT A FAN OF THE HUMIDITY) in Lousiana. I could go back to either place. Maybe somewhere new like Maine or Hawaii.
7. You are leaving your country, where would you move?New Zealand in a heart beat.
8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose?This is FRICKING torturous! How can I, a biblioholic, choose just one? I guess Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston. Hometown girl makes good.
9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you choose?Tootsie. It makes you laugh, cry, and has a great love story.
10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be? What insect? What mammal?An egret, a honey bee (the Queen of course) and a jaguar.
11. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you like to relive?So far this one!!!!! It's still my favorite year to date.
12. Which year(s) would you least like to relive?If I'd be exactly as I was then? Probably a high school year (1981) or the year of separation leading to divorce (1996.) But I'd be willing to go back and relive if I could take my current wisdom with me. Maybe enjoy them better the second time around.
13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?1810-20 To see the opening up of America. The 1812 War. The British and Napoleon battling it out in Europe. The beginning of what would later lead to the Industrial Revolution.
14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving.I can't do either because of health issues. But if I had to for survival or something of that nature I'd pick deep-sea diving.
15. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick?Not sure. I have to do some research on this one.
16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?If I don't go on Jeopardy my sister Carin would kill me. She even sent them a request for information (re: auditioning)FOR ME using my name and address to get me to go on the show.
17. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity. What charity do you choose?The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. If it's good enough for Warren Buffett's billions then it's ok for my imaginary million.
18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban?War. Maybe if we couldn't name it we wouldn't do it.
19. You can have 100 million dollars tax-free but if you take it, you'll die at the age of fifty. Do you take it?Since that means dying sixty years before I have planned the answer is NO WAY IN HELL!!!!!Besides I'm forty (and a half) that gives me less than a decade left, so I reiterrate NO WAY IN HELL!!!!!!

Catch Up

2006-06-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to head to Florida. Fun things have happened in June. Here's a short list:
1. Kauai with family was exceptionally peaceful and the catamaran trip with parents was an absolute blast. I swam with a SHARK and a HONU (the green sea turtle of Hawai'i)!!!!
2. Father's Day was fun. Brunch for Dad at the house with entire immediate family showing off their tans and bitching about jet lag. Playing Oh Hell with Carin, Karie and my folks and then leaving with my parents for the Jackson Rancheria. I did nicely at the roulette table.
3. Went on a blind date. Not so bad.
4. Went to see my friends, Jeanine and Mike, in a play that took twenty years to get onstage and was worth the wait.
5. Saw my friend Bobi who encouraged me to keep working on myself because I'm doing a good job.
6. Went to Arena 2 Football with Shawn one Saturday and with Tony the following Saturday.
7. Gave my niece Carina a set of the Little House books for her birthday. She was floored. My mom said it would be the perfect commercial on the power of literature if a camera had been on her face when she opened the present.
8. Was "Wing Man" on a date and wasn't even needed.
9. Hung with Shanda.
10. Hung with Carin and Karie on Carin's birthday...which was also the anniversary of my getting hit by a bus which led to this blog in the first place.
11. Got a foot massage and a chiropractic adjustment....which after the flight I desperately needed.
12. Applied, interviewed, and was accepted into massage school. My classes start July 18 and go until September. I CAN'T WAIT. I was itching to enroll when I got the info.
13. Hung with Tony, Cathy and Jeanine.
14. Downloaded a poker cd I got from my dad. Can't wait for some free time to play.
15. CLEANED AND REARRANGED A LOT OF MY HOME!!!! Feels great to be nearly done.
16. Got a call and have now played phone tag with the new president of my union. She left message that they have some conferences coming up and she'd like me to represent them if I can. Pretty cool!
17. GOT A CONTRACT!!!! So we won't have to strike. Which is absolutely thrilling and mind blowingly relieving.
18. Took Liz out to lunch for her birthday. Shanda and I got to hear all about what it's like to be newly pregnant. She probably is tired of talking about it but we pushed because we're fascinated with the subject.
19. Sent sperm bank paperwork to Karie's mom, an OB-GYN, who's going to help me come Aug-Nov. When I can amass enough cash to pay for it. Initial insemination is a bit steep.
20.Got hit on by a couple of guys when hanging out with Shanda. She said I had my "aura" going on. (The term WHATEVER comes to mind.)
21. Read a play that Shawn will most likely direct and found out he wants me in it. Luckily will most likely be after massage school is over.
22. Set up training dates for my new assignment as a SEVENTH grade teacher. Same site We're going K-8 which is a fabulous challenge. Saw Christyn right after and we talked about everything. Hard to believe we hadn't seen each other in two and half weeks. We're really looking forward to the partnership next year.
23. Dealt with the 100+ temperatures fairly well. Didn't have a heart attack when saw the P. G. & E. bill either.
24. Saw David and Rae Ann's new home.
25. BLOGGED....which rarely ever happens any more. (I HAVE GOT TO GET A LAP TOP!!!!)

Take care! Wish me well in Florida.

ALOHA!

2006-06-05T01:13:00.000-07:00

So in about seven hours I will be flying off to the island of Kauai, in the state of Hawaii, with my whole (immediate) family.

Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

OK June Announcements!
Happy Birthday to friends: Mike Kiley, Liz Smith and Ashley Smith (no relation).
Happy Birthday to nieces: Carina Deann Burgher and Sabrina Elaine Nelson
Happy Birthday to my youngest sister: Carin Adele Nelson
Happy (Posthumous)Birthday to my grandfather, Michael John Chavez.
Happy Anniversary to my grandmother, Merle and my late grandfather, Bob Nelson.

Will be home the 15th. So hope to start re-blogging from then on....so much more time to write when not having to do that little thing called WORK! ;-)

Soy or I am...

2006-05-16T18:09:00.000-07:00

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry! I was going to post about how my eleven year old nephew tried to set me up and then my (then) four year old niece asked about my love life...all triggered by a book I was reading because I ended up with that most miraculous of all things>DOWN TIME...when lo and behold, GAS!

And no, not the kind that daily jumps a quarter, the kind that makes me jump and run to the bathroom. I am afraid that instead of SOY they gave me regular milk in my iced latte despite being asked three times by two different employees at one of my favorite cafes about whether it was soy or not.

So now I'm suffering a Montezuma's Revenge and cursing silently but mightily those who do not listen to answers nor orders. I ask for soy because I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT NOT BECAUSE I'M IN A STATE OF BEING! For those of you who don't understand, soy in Spanish means I am.

Anyway, as soon as my intestines give me pause and I stop being reacquainted with the downstairs loo, I will post about the yenta-iness of my relatives and why I thought my mom was bad until Robbie and Jessie got in on the act.

'Til then.......be careful what you put in your mouth...may taste good but feel dreadful~~ later on. ;-P

Let's Hear a Hip Hooray for Science!

2006-05-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

While waiting in line to get two lattes (one soy and one non-fat, both with an extra shot) I watched the sound bytes of news on a t.v. anchored to the wall. In one they mentioned a study done in Japan that showed with 30 minutes of (I believe but am not sure) continuous kissing daily that allergy sufferers showed no signs nor symptoms of the "disease." There were only 24 couples in the experiment so they said they had to do further research to figure out why this occurred.

I WANT TO SIGN UP FOR FURTHER RESEARCH!!!! So long as I can pick my lab partner. As my friend and colleague Christyn put it, "...the choice of partner could be the deal breaker." ;-)

Anyway, here's to clear sinuses, and science furthering our understanding of our minds, bodies and spirits.....evil giggle.

Head Shots

2006-05-11T00:57:00.000-07:00

I took these shots of myself with my old, icky camera phone. (My new one is studly!! Or goddessly! Whichever works.) However, I liked the angles. I would like input on which one makes a better head shot. I actually prefer the picture in previous post best but when tried to send it to a director for bio in program she didn't use it. ????? Maybe didn't receive. Anyway, what do you think? I rarely like photos of me so to find three I find tolerable is saying something.

Of course in the immortal words of Mike Kiley, "There's no such thing as bad head."

2006-05-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday James Snyder!
Happy Birthday Shawn Carrington!

Welcome to the world, Jonas Stewart Weldon and Joran Scott Weldon!!!!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Happy Memorial Day everyone!

Have fun in this (thank you Rogers and Hammerstein) "...lusty month of May!"

To Think or Not to Think

2006-04-27T00:38:00.000-07:00

My friend, Joe Smith, says I think too much. He's right. He unfortunately is almost, always right. I admire and hate that about him. (Just kidding about the hate.) In honor of him and the words that he never got to hear two characters in a play tell me; which was to not think so much, I dedicate the results of this silly but amazingly accurate quiz.

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!
Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.
You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.
In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.
At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.
With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.
As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.
On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

P.S. Joe, the title of this blog was almost Because Joe Said It First.

Getting a Jump on April Celebrations

2006-03-31T22:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my nieces: Adia, Jessie and Haley who turn five on the tenth! (Gotta love triplets....so much extra cake!)
Happy Birthday to my Uncle Don!
Happy Birthday to my cousin, Ted!
Happy Birthday to my friend, Joe!

Happy Sixteenth Anniversary Ted and Yvonne!
Happy Twelfth Anniversary David and Rae Ann!

Have a Fabulous Passover!
or a
Happy Easter!
or a
Happy Cambodian New Year!
or a
Great April Fool's Day!

or all of the above. ;-)

Belated Birthday Greeting

2006-03-31T22:27:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Cyndie Menard and Jean Michael. Two lovely ladies whose birthdays I have recently learned are also in March!!!!

Me Trivia

2006-03-21T23:06:00.000-08:00

1. I have never played an organized sport of any kind outside of P. E.
2. I am "double-jointed" in both arms.
3. I have a bunion on the right foot that gets worse every year. I may eventually need surgery.
4. I HATE, ABHOR, & LOATHE slugs.
5. I was a Homecoming Princess in high school.
6. I was very much in love (unrequited alas) with one guy and had serious crushes (after he transferred) on two other guys (who just happened to be his best friends) in high school. AND strangely enough when all three chose to buy their first houses in town~~THEY PICKED MY MOTHER AS THEIR REAL ESTATE AGENT....freaky.
7. My mother was also the first agent for the second guy I had a crush on in elementary school.
8. I have never been called hot but I have been called slammable. ;-)
9. I have had to hear on numerous occasions how hot the members of my family are. (They are but it gets hard to hear sometimes.)
10. I have only had surgery in my mouth. I had only two wisdom teeth (my surgeon said I was evolutionarily superior) and they had to come out when they became impacted (so much for evolution.)
11. I broke my left arm which cut me off cold turkey from sucking my thumb to sleep.
12. I like romance novels because they always have happy endings. Which is highly ironic since I don't believe in happy endings for my own love life in the real world.
13. Snuggling makes me claustrophobic.
14. I was tall when that song "Short People" came out and now I'm the short person. I got passed up after sixth grade.
15. I think too much.
16. I only sob uncontrollably when I'm angry.
17. My favorite pms food is McDonald's french fries and anything chocolate. Otherwise, I find both almost repulsive.
18. I stick things in my ears to massage them.
19. I won $4000 on Father's Day in Lake Tahoe on a slot machine. I usually break even or lose what little money I bring.
20. I am easily hurt by jokes at my expense but I always put on a facade that I'm not. In fact I end up trying to top the person laughing at me by being more verbally brutal about myself.
21. I am ticklish. So much so that I cannot control my responses. People have been seriously injured by flying legs when they try to get me.
22. I had the chicken pox as an adult.
23. I've never had a boyfriend.
24. I can count the number of dates I've been on on one hand.
25. I hate to shop unless it's gifts for other people. Then I can spend hours in a store.
26. The only stores I like to browse/window shop in are hardware/home stores, i.e. OSH, Home Depot, etc. and bookstores.
27. I was bilingual when I was two.
28. I'm not bilingual now.
29. My mother always wants to set me up with the world....but she just stops short of embarassing me.
30. My nephew is following in my mother's footsteps. He tried to set me up with his best friend's dad. WASN'T HAPPENING.
31. I have never skiied; water or snow.
32. I won a story writing contest when I was in second grade.
33. I would love to be a "seat-warmer" at the Academy Awards.
34. I would love to attend both the Winter and Summer Olympics some year.
35. I HATE, ABHOR AND LOATHE smoking but most (not all) of the adults I've surrounded myself with have smoked at one time.
36. I don't like cereal, melons, liver or sausage. Pretty much everything else under the sun I'll eat.
37. I love "teen" flicks. Truly a guilty pleasure.
38. I would love if just once someone did something dopily romantic (like out of a stupid teen flick) for me.
39. I have never been to Washington, D.C. which I hope to rectify soon.
40. I can walk and read a book at the same time. However, when not reading a book, walking is hazardous to my health. So is standing, sitting and lying down.

Whoops!

2006-03-21T23:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Carmen! I had no idea that her birthday was this month. Tom, our director and friend, bought a cake and we surprised her with a very off key rendition of the traditional song. Rehearsals are a blast!!!! I'm enjoying this cast sooooooooo much!!! So light and airy. Just what I need to bounce into spring.

To Squander or To Surrender to the Inevitable?

2006-03-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

I haven't quite made it away from the computer. I started re-reading some of my previous posts. I'm rather impressed with myself....and that rarely happens. I take writing for granted. I should be more active with it and realize that it truly is a gift and not squander it. Plus, I miss this. I think it's part of the reason I've been down lately. Hard to sustain happiness when you're not venting your frustrations...at least somewhere. I should make more of an effort to get home in time to write. For myself....and for anyone who wants to know me better since I am AWFUL at sharing my feelings but am like both a thief and a talk show host in getting others to open up about theirs. Maybe I should surrender to this ability and allow it free rein? Hmmmmmmmm. The possibilities. Now that's a happy dream, sweet dream!

Good night!

Stuff

2006-03-20T23:32:00.000-08:00

By the way, I tried to update the blog during the month of February. When my parents were in Mexico and I was house-sitting I tried but none of the posts ever published nor were they saved in draft form AND I don't know why. I'll blame it on the Olympics. I was very busy watching them. Then I got busy with REPORT CARDS and right before that I started rehearsals for the play, "Vanities." (Jeanine's debut as a director.)

Anyway, sorry that I've been gone. I haven't even had time to turn on my computer. Why I'm shopping around for a laptop and then a wireless company so that I can actually access others' blogs (I MISS WENDY'S THE MOST!!!), write something of my own that is not work related, and generally surf the net for useless information...like my horoscope.

Of course, I've also been busy preparing for next school year because I'm going back to seventh grade....as the teacher. AND we still don't have a contract so I've been one busy site rep. Our union did vote overwhelmingly in favor of a strike authorization vote. So now that we're finally out of mediation if the last and final offer during fact-finding is rejected the Executive Board can call the time and date of a strike. Hopefully, the district will wise up as there are three unions that are in alliance and they cover the teachers, the aides, the secretaries, the account clerks, the program specialists, the cafeteria workers, the custodians, the busdrivers....DUH can't really run a school district without us. They don't have enough subs for when people are out sick, or in training, or out for a personal issue as it is...who do they actually think will be able to take care of the children and the facilities if the majority of us walk? Sad but the bosses are not thinking ahead. Ah well, time will tell.

I'm currently rehearsing a new play, "Situation Comedy", as "Vanities" opened on the weekend. I got to spend time with my oldest nephew, Robbie and I'll post about that later. Hopefully, even add in the video (from new vid/camera cell phone) of his first ever acting part. He took after me and auditioned for the character role...SUCH A SMART BOY!!! ;-) He's also taking golf lessons from the ever talented and always on, Joe Smith. So I'm getting to see both of them in a new light. Always fun to see people you love and think you know so well and to find out completely new things.

People in general are fascinating! It's been a rough couple of months. Some really sad news for others that I care about, some just plain everyday stresses, weather that needs to quit and get on with spring, and some truly down moments .... just because? Or maybe to remind me that even in the presence of drama there is always hope.

I saw a double, full arcing rainbow....twice in two days. So with that I'm off to bed. Thinking of how natural phenomena can remind us that everything, especially simple things we take for granted, are beautiful!

Sleep well.

Oh and something my sisters you to say that drove me absolutely, fricking nuts as a teen but which I find endearing now (go figure)~~~~
Happy Dreams! Sweet Dreams!

March 2006

2006-03-20T23:28:00.000-08:00

I know absolutely NO ONE with an anniversary in March. VERY STRANGE. And, even more strange I know only two special guys who were born in this blustery month: Happy Birthday Steve and Happy Birthday Tony! I met both in my thirties. Who knew that I'd have to wait that long to have birthdays to celebrate this month?

February Stuff

2006-02-13T00:53:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Jennifer! Happy Birthday Cathy! Happy Birthday Late-Great Presidents Washington and Lincoln! and Happy Groundhog's Day Everyone! (Oh and for those poor deluded souls that celebrate--Happy Amateurs' Hour--what my parents call Valentine's Day. They can talk. They knew each other for two weeks before marrying 42 years ago! They feel every day is special when spent with the one you love and you don't need a made up holiday to treat each other accordingly. And yeah, they still act like newlyweds!!!! So f- the fake stuff.)

Shanda's Weird Habits Game

2006-01-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

So my friend Shanda "tagged" me with this game of hers. I don't know that I'm going to tag anyone else because she chose some people I would have and I don't know that many bloggers. Plus the whole linking thing starts to get to me. I barely am online anymore as it is. I feel guilty asking it of others but to play the game I guess I tag anyone reading>--- so there. Here are the directions:

The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits" of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals.

My Five Weird Habits:
1. I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open. Long story about being afraid of dying in there alone. I obviously do NOT go to the bathroom in public or when a guest at someone's home with the door open....It's hard but I actually close the door and "do my business."
2. I have to have my shoulders covered when I go to bed (especially during winter) or I'm too cold and cannot sleep. In summer it's never an issue. I can sleep nude....which I prefer.
3. I like to take naps in my car. (NOT WHILE DRIVING!)
4. I am nearly obsessive about checking my cell phone to see if there's a text message. I pretty much always leave it on silent mode to not disturb others but I love to see that little light flash red because it means someone's thinking about me.
5. I just noticed (at dinner tonight) that I always turn my plate the opposite direction from the way it's given to me in restaurants. I don't know why but the plate always looks unbalanced. When I did it tonight I realized immediately that I do it all the time. I want certain foods on certain sides. Now I never do that at home but then I "balance" my plate at home by placing the foods in their "proper" places. I can't believe I just noticed this little OCD thing now....but I know I have been doing it forever. Epiphany moment of the day.

It took me forever to come up with five weird habits. I've had this draft going for quite a while. Now if it had been five BAD habits? Well, that takes five seconds to come up with. And let's face it---how do you stop at five? It's always easier to come up with negatives about oneself. Which is sad when you think about it. Why isn't it easier to notice our idiosyncracies or even our GOOD habits? Why don't we focus on the unique and special?

Have fun thinking about your own daily/weekly/lifely rituals.

More Slogans with Friends' Names

2006-01-16T17:55:00.000-08:00

I typed in friends' names on the link mentioned in last post and here's a list of my favorites:

1. Pure Liz
2. The Loudest Noise Comes from the Electric Jeanine
3. It Takes a Tough Man to Make a Tender Shawn
4. Live In Your Cathy, Play in Ours
5. Don't Get Mad, Get Tony
6. Strong Enough for a Man, Made for a Jaye
7. Bet You Can't Eat Shanda
8. (for when Liz is pregnant)Something Special in the Liz
and last but not least
9. Feel the Raw Naked Joe of the Road (now is that after midnight only?-Inside joke obviously.)

And my last one was

HAPPINESS IS CHRISTINA SHAPED!

How cool is that?

Take care!

Sloganize Me

2006-01-16T17:31:00.000-08:00

Shanda has this link on her blog to a website that will put in any word and resloganize it for you using actual advertisements.

I clicked on the link: http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi and the first one I saw was

If only everything in life was as reliable as tragedy.

Which is pretty hysterical if you ask me. Anyway, I did what Shanda did and put my name in the spot to "sloganize." These are the first three. I had to stop doing it because I was laughing so hard. Which as most of you know leads to a major coughing fit on my part.

1. Sometimes you feel like a Christina, sometimes you don't. Yeah, I remember the Mounds commercials and realize that originally it was sometimes you feel like a nut....
2. What's in your Christina? Hey, I plead the fifth on that one because I will sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo incriminate myself!!!!
3. 151 Countries, ONE Christina!

So eventually I stopped coughing and did some more.

4. I'm only here for the Christina.
5. Wear Christina.
6. The Christina of Champions.
There were others related to Australia and Pepsi but the funniest of all is where I end this post:

Half the Christina, All the Taste.

Getting Lost but Enjoying the Ride

2006-01-10T20:56:00.000-08:00

So my fortieth birthday celebrations have come and gone. The residue of them lingers in my memory and has lifted my spirits on the two "bad" days I've had this year. So far 2006 is turning out to be my favorite year yet. Quick rundown while I wait for my dad to finish running on the treadmill at my mom's real estate office (it's after hours) and have my turn.

My birthday celebrations (there was more than one hence the plural) began on the 31st of December and lasted until January 3rd.

1. My immediate family has had a progressive party every year during the holiday season since we all got our own places. It is usually sometime before Christmas so that we can go to everyone's house, see their decorations, spend time with each other and get psyched for the festivities to come. It didn't work out that way this year. Due to all sorts of scheduling conflicts the only date that would work was New Year's Eve. It was great in that it cut down the long waiting hours for the kids. The adults were shocked at how fast it went by. I got to do appetizers for the first time (been salad bar twice, desserts thrice and main dish most times.) The birthday part came in that I got a reply to a text I sent a friend much earlier in the day. He said he was sorry that he didn't respond right away but that he and his wife were buying a new bed. We got to texting, as we do, and it turns out that they needed to get rid of their old bed which was the exact size and type that I wanted to go shopping for at the end of the month. Joe & Liz Smith and Joe's nephew brought the bed over and gave it to me. The Smiths would not accept money for it. Liz said it was because they got the bed free but then they gave me beddings and pillows too....which I know they paid for. Then they both let me know that they were coming over the following day to spend my "official" birthday celebration with me. I just assumed that they wouldn't be able to because of work but Liz told on Joe (SO NOW IT'S ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU'RE NICE JOE-THE TRUTH IS OUT!) that he changed his work schedule so he could go. Of course that meant Liz would be able to come too. I was thrilled because Joe and Liz are two of my most favorite people on the entire planet.

I started this post on January 10th but quit when it was my time to hit the treadmill and ended up having to finish this post on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr's. Birthday observed. Thank God for inspirational human beings that we recognize in holiday form.

(My dad and brother-in-law took the bed upstairs for me and propped it up against the closet. Much later in the early morning hours of the new year, I put it together alone. Story about getting pinned by other bed to follow in another post.)

2. New Year's Day dawned gray, rainy and windy. The storm just got worse as the day went on. At least it had been clear and dry for banging pots and pans at midnight with my nieces and nephews. My friend Shanda came down,
from the wilderness that is the Yankee Hill/Oroville border in Butte County, to spend the weekend with me as a birthday present. We spent time together in the early a.m. hours, after I left my family's new year's celebrations (with ten kids everyone usually cuts out before 12:30 to get them to bed. Although this year we kept going to nearly 1:30 a.m.), and then Shanda slept in FOREVER on Sunday. Even she was shocked at how late she woke up. Which if you know Shanda is saying something. I woke up at some ungodly hour like 7, which meant I got all of three hours of sleep. My friend Joe, and I texted (which I now know was not a good thing-yet again another post) and he kept telling me to wake her up. The wind was so bad that everytime the tree would rustle she'd say from the guest room, "....what are you doing?" I would say, "It's the wind not me." Then she'd crash again. Only the storm through my (probably 400 years old) oak tree got her to stir. Anyway, I couldn't wait any longer and took her car to go shopping. (I had left my car and taken hers the night before {because it had gas} and driven her home since I had had no alcohol and she had been drinking with friends at Bogey's.) I found out that though I had lost about 48 pounds at that point that my breasts have not caught up. THEY ARE WAY TOO BIG. I wanted to buy one of those cute little sexy tops that are currently in vogue and just put a sweater over it for the cold evening>BUT NO....couldn't do that. Because while those cute tops actually fit everywhere (shockingly) my breasts overflowed and I felt more slutty then innocently sexy like you're supposed to. [It's the empire waist and the camisole waist types generally. If I pull the line under my breasts then I feel exposed & if I yank the top up to cover them the sewn-in waist lines cut right through my breasts and look stupid. Sigh.] However, I did get a new pair of jeans (12 petites for those keeping up with my weight loss) and two long-sleeved medium tops instead. It still is weird to go to regular sizes and take them to a dressing room and have them fit. I hold them up and think, "No way is this going to work" and am still pleasantly surprised that not only do they fit but usually (breasts being the one exception as stated previously) look rather attractive too.

3. As I'm leaving the store I get dueling texts from Joe and Shanda about food. We decided to go eat at Chili's. Joe was a riot and Liz and Shanda were having fun laughing at me because I kept hitting my head on the seat behind me when "guffawing uproariously" at what Joe was saying. LUCKILY, for the first time ever (that I know of anyway) Joe let a secret out of the bag. He inadvertantly let slip that there was going to be a limo later that night. My sisters (with my mother's generous support) decided to hire a limo to take the entire crew that was invited to go dancing for my birthday in Sacramento (45 minutes away from home.) Liz kicked Joe under the table and if he hadn't have made a loud ouch noise I would never have noticed because Shanda and I were talking about something completely different and I was only slightly hearing what Joe and Liz were discussing. When I got to my car I squealed because I have never ridden in a limo for more than a five minute drive. So here I was looking forward to TWO virgin experiences: limo ride all night long and clubbing. Because while I love dancing I've only ever gone to one place with friends to do it. Never more than one. While trying to find a Payless Shoe Source (because they always have wides) open I giggled like a little girl for the next two hours. Joe was afraid my sisters would hate him for giving up the surprise but I said we'd blame it on my friend Tony, who couldn't come. I also told Joe that my family loves smart asses so to be on his worst behavior... ;-) My family is a bunch of smart asses which is why Joe was very much appreciated for his behavior that evening.

4. Liz, Joe, Shanda and I sat talking once everyone was cleaned up and ready to go. Then two other friends made it. Jeanine first and then Shawn, very dapper in a suit, with an Earth, Wind and Fire (one of my favorite groups of all times!) cd as a gift. We waited for my sisters who were turtling at the time. I'd looked up places on the internet. I'd been to two but Shanda could only go to one of the places and chose the one farthest north so she could get back home (she had to work at 6 the next morning and lives about two hours away from the club she chose) Well, we never made it. But that didn't matter. The limo was AWESOME!!!!! Thank you again Mom, Jennie and Carin. Those of us inside were having a ball. Joe would talk to Ray, our limo driver, who thought he was lost. Then would talk to Shanda, who had to go in her own car. Turns out the first place (which no one had ever been to) had closed. Shanda finally decided to head toward home and wished us well via cell phone. We were singing, drinking, laughing, joking in the limo so much that it didn't matter that we went up and down the same strip of road a ton of times. Finally, we told Ray that most of us had to use a restroom. He found a place that was open. It turned out to be a Caribbean restaurant/bar WITH A DANCE FLOOR! There were four guys doing Spanish hip hop/rapping to canned salsa/hip hop style music. IT WAS A BLAST! I got to dance. My sisters danced with me. Joe who doesn't dance at all even made it onto the floor to as he put it, "get his groove on with the Nelson sisters." At about fifteen seconds to midnight they dragged me off the floor and we all downed a drink after they sang Happy Birthday to me at midnight. (Joe and I don't drink. Shawn never does anything harder than beer and I never have had a chance to drink with Liz or Jeanine so it was interesting to say the least. Also, Liz doesn't go clubbing but they were all willing to do things they normally wouldn't just for me which was one of the things I treasured most about the evening.) Then after a spin on the floor with my wonderful Shawn we decided to head to the clubs we've actually been to.

5. Ray took a picture of us all by the limo with Jen's camera and we all piled back in for the ride from Citrus Heights to Sac. Well we got lost again but it didn't matter. We ended up at a Denny's (so I still haven't been clubbing officially) where I spent the time talking to my sister Jennie and some very pierced people not to mention doing the splits and eating an English muffin (NO DIET UNTIL BIRTHDAY WAS OVER!) We then all crashed in limo (with exception of Jennie and Shawn who got to bond.) on the way home.

6. Liz and Joe spent the night in my spare bedroom and everyone else made it home safely. Then I woke up at 7 (again about three to four hours of sleep) took in sub plans because my district screwed up their calendar and didn't realize the second was a national holiday this year and came home. Wanted to work out but Curves was closed for the day. Called my parents to invite them for breakfast...they were still asleep. Yikes. Puttered around downstairs and then spent an hour or so talking with Joe and Liz when they woke up before heading off to a Thai foot massage. Had a nice Chinese food lunch and then met my parents at the movies. We saw The Family Stone. I loved it. It made me laugh, cry and think....can't ask for more than that in a movie.

7. Then my parents and I picked up tamales for a big dinner at their house where my brother, & in-laws (who couldn't come the night before for dancing) were plus all my beautiful nieces and nephews. We had a great meal. Then I played with the two year-olds while the older kids kept going into the back room. A place I was NOT ALLOWED. So I knew they were planning something. I thought it was a play which is what they love to do (yeah, the apple doesn't fall too far from that tree) whenever we get together. I was wrong. Instead they were finishing up touches on a book they all made me. I had to sit on the couch then all ten came out and lined up. Ages 11 to 2. They were all holding papers. Ben, who is 2, gave his up and ran off. Then Carina (9) started with the intro. which was along the lines of The Forty Reasons Our Tia is Special to Us. I started crying immediately. No one would give me a tissue. (And yeah, I ended up balling the whole time, tissue-less.) When Lelan, also 2, saw what was happening, he threw down his papers and came running over to the couch I was sitting on and launched himself at me. I picked him up and he started hugging me and patting my back to console me. Then my four four year-old nieces saw this and got concerned expressions on their faces. I kept reassuring them that I was ok. That they were happy tears. They finally believed me and calmed down. Robbie (11), Dalin and Nick (both 6) and Carina just kept on reading-troopers that they are. I'm starting to cry again just thinking about it. Everything they said was something special. They each drew a picture to go along with what they thought was wonderful about me. Which is why even the two year olds could "read" their papers. My mother told me later that it was Carina's idea. That she wanted them all to give me something that I would love. In that she more than succeeded.

So this birthday that I had been joyously anticipating EXCEEDED all expectations!!!!!!!!! With certain notable exceptions, especially Christyn and Frith, I was able to spend time with all of the people I truly care about most in this world. More importantly I found out that I was just as important to them. Because even when you know that you're special you still need to hear it.

My dad has always asked a question of us every year on our birthdays. We know it's coming but never when because he springs it on us at the most unlikely times during the day. The question is, "How does it feel to be a year older?" (This year I also got how does it feel to be a decade older.) Now I always have an answer but this year it was even more important to have the "right" answer. Right being in my mind only. My dad never judges our answers. He just listens and smiles. Then usually hugs and kisses us. Now I always take my dad's question to heart because I truly want to express to him how I feel. This year was easy.

How does it feel? It feels like I have lived an adventure in this first forty years of my life. I know that there are many more to come and I relish that feeling. I embrace it and look forward to all the adventures yet to come. AND I know that if I get lost along the way as long as my companions are as dear to me as those in the limo, or those writing me a book, etc. then I'm never truly lost but just enjoying the ride!

Happy New Year to you all!
Happy Birthday when ever that may be~
and may you find a few adventures of your own.

January Celebrations

2006-01-03T17:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Anniversary to my cat Ariel! I will have had her for 17 years on January 6th! She has been the best birthday present ever!

Happy Birthday to my grandmother Merle who will be 86 on January 7th!

Happy Birthday to my friend Christyn Simpkins who will be 36 on January 15th!

Happy Birthday to my friend Shanda Davis who will be 28 on January 28th!

Happy New Year to all!
May you have a reflective Dr. King Day!
oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!! (40 on the second...read next post on my favorite birthday of all time. Second favorite was in Kauai with immediate family at a luau about four years ago.)

Plumerias & Dancing Down 71st Where?

2005-12-26T11:27:00.000-08:00

So last night (really very early in the a.m.) was a terrific storm. Sheet lightning with rollicking thunder, the oak's limbs swaying very scarily in the ferocious winds, and lashes of rain. To wake up to clear, brilliant, blinding light coming from the sun through the windows. Nothing like a little drama to shake the rafters and cobwebs from your brain.

Makes me almost feel lazy for just sitting with coffee in front of my computer screen. Of course I do have the onerous [;-)] task of looking up places to go dancing for my birthday, which is one week from today!!!! YAY!!!!!! I may be the only person I know who is thrilled about turning forty! I can't wait. I want to have a blast dancing with friends and family.

My thirtieth wasn't much fun. I had to work (long-term sub for middle school at the time) and my ex-husband, try as valiantly as he did, just didn't understand that for my birthday I wanted to do something frivolous. I am a very responsible person generally; but for my birthday I want that kick up your heels for existing feeling that you always have as a kid. Well, for nice, well-brought up middle-class kids like me anyway.

So seven days and counting! In honor of my upcoming, still to be decided festivity I will post some things that people may not know about me.

1. Plumerias are my favorite scented flower. I love roses in people's gardens and tulips in arrangements. I love the delicacy of orchids & the overflowing richness of bougainevilla. Yet it is the simple and fragile plumeria whose fragrance steals my breath away. They are so easily bruised, turning brown almost immediately
when touched, yet they still exude an exotic sweetness. I want my life to be like that. Maybe darkened from overuse but still able to emit beauty.

2. My favorite song of all time is Silent Night. It is not my favorite Christmas song. That belongs to Carol of the Bells. There is something that is haunting to me about Silent Night. The first funeral I ever attended was in the Cathedral of the Annunciation here in Stockton. I was lucky enough to get a seat. The cathedral was overflowing for the unexpected death of a seventeen year old girl that was a year behind me in high school. I had seen her last after a show I was doing in college (my first and for a long time last sexy role ever). She didn't commit suicide, she didn't o.d. it was literally dying in her sleep and they never were able to figure out why. Anyway, at the funeral for Jennifer I just kept hearing Silent Night over and over in my head. From that day on I knew that at my funeral I wanted it sung.

3. I believe in God. But not your anthropomorphic built in our image God. It's hard to explain but George Lucas made it easier with his term The Force. I feel a force in everything. I feel that everything is blessed. And that we create our own heavens and hells. I don't talk about my spriritual beliefs because it is so intensely personal that I can't...no, I take that back....I'm not willing to share it with people who are unwilling to hear me out. I was raised without a religion but not without morals. My parents were very strict about how to treat others and oneself. I have not always lived up to their teachings but I strive daily to do so.

4. Dancing Down 71st Street, the address of this blog, is what I would have titled a book on my life in New York. I wrote to my parents frequently during that time. My mom, as I probably have stated elsewhere, keeps almost all of my writings and if I'm ever published anywhere it will be because she gave it to someone who'll do something with it. I don't have that ambition strangely enough. I find writing very easy but I don't always burn with the need to get my words out. That happens rarely and when it does I write, get it over with and move on. Nevertheless, if any of my musings were put together in anthology it would have to be titled Dancing Down 71st Street after where I lived. Many times coming back from the train after work the streets would be slick with the remnants of a recent rain. They would glisten with flecks in the tarmac that always made me think of the immigrants' belief that the streets of America were paved with gold. I lived at the end of 71st street where it dead ended into the Hudson river. I would come to the crest of the hill, near 71st and Broadway/Amsterdam where they cross eachother and switch places, and look down to the Hudson and literally dance my way down past West End Avenue to my home. It was on occasions like this that I felt that I was destined to be doing what I was doing. Which was just your normal, basic everyday eating, bathing, working and living!

5. Most people who've read only one post will probably notice my love for dancing. For me dancing is foreplay. There is something purely elemental about music and how it courses through one's body. I cannot exist without that feeling. It is essential to my being. I have always danced. Not as a trained dancer but as a person enchanted with how music makes me feel. Whole and unfettered and free!

So hope you find something like that that makes your soul sing! Until my next post....adieu!

Weird Horoscope

2005-12-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or is my astrocenter.com horoscope for the first full day of Channukkah and the first day of Kwanzaa weird?

If you have someone special in your life, CHRISTINA, today is a perfect day to stop playing at being his mother, as you very often seem to do. It's time to reverse the roles, and let other people take care of you! And if you could also finally realize that the world won't fall apart if you let go for a while, you will have learned a lot today. Whatever happens, you can count on a day like today to open your eyes.

December 2005

2005-12-25T15:40:00.000-08:00

Superior Solstice!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Channukkah!
Great Kwanzaa!
Happy New Year!

To those birthday babies: Happy Birthday to Jeanine, Veg, Steph, Joanie, Liz, Rosie, Benjamin and Nicholas!
and a Happy Anniversary Jennie and Todd!

The end of a year always brings reflections of past glories and ignoble losses. Whatever this new year brings to you I hope that you are able to withstand the stresses, manage the horrors, succeed at your challenges, laugh at your foibles, sing with glee, dance for joy, and realize that every second truly is precious. The quiet moments filled with solemnity or peace, the raucous moments filled with excesses and the everywhere and anytime in-between moments that make our lives what they are. Enjoy them all!

VOTE

2005-11-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

If you are living in the state of California TODAY is ELECTION DAY!!! Get out and vote. While I truly believe in the power of all votes being anonymous; I feel compelled to write how I'm voting in this "special" election that the governor so egregiously put on.

NO on 73!
NO on 74!
NO on 75!
NO on 76!
NO on 77!
NO on 78!
YES on 79!
YES on 80!

and locally, here in Stockton,
YES on C!

Actually, don't go out and vote unless it's the same way......just kidding! Sort of.

Some More of Those Quiz Things

2005-11-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern.

A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.

A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.

No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Your Hair Should Be White

Classy, stylish, and eloquent.

You've got a way about you that floors everyone you meet.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...

But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.

You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.

You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.

That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!

The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.

Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.

You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.

Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.

As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

John Taylor's No Dentist Left Behind

2005-11-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

No Dentist Left Behind

My dentist is great! He sends me reminders so I don't forget checkups. He uses the latest techniques based on research. He never hurts me, and I've got all my teeth.

When I ran into him the other day, I was eager to see if he'd heard about the new state program. I knew he'd think it was great.

"Did you hear about the new state program to measure effectiveness of dentists with their young patients?" I said.

"No," he said. He didn't seem too thrilled. "How will they do that?

"It's quite simple," I said. "They will just count the number of cavities each patient has at age 10, 14, and 18 and average that to determine a dentist's rating. Dentists will be rated as excellent, good, average, below average, and unsatisfactory. That way parents will know which are the best dentists. The plan will also encourage the less effective dentists to get better," I said. "Poor dentists who don't improve could lose their licenses to practice."

"That's terrible," he said.

"What? That's not a good attitude," I said. "Don't you think we should try to improve children's dental health in this state?"

"Sure I do," he said, "but that's not a fair way to determine who is practicing good dentistry."

"Why not?" I said. "It makes perfect sense to me."

"Well, it's so obvious," he said. "Don't you see that dentists don't all work with the same clientele, and that much depends on things we can't control? For example, I work in a rural area with a high percentage of patients from deprived homes, while some of my colleagues work in upper middle-class neighborhoods. Many of the parents I work with don't bring their children to see me until there is some kind of problem, and I don't get to do much
preventive work. Also many of the parents I serve let their kids eat
way too much candy from an early age, unlike more educated parents who
understand the relationship between sugar and decay. To top it all
off, so many of my clients have well water which is untreated and has no
fluoride in it. Do you have any idea how much difference early use of fluoride can make?"

"It sounds like you're making excuses," I said. "I can't believe that you, my dentist, would be so defensive. After all, you do a great job, and you needn't fear a little accountability."

"I am not being defensive!" he said. "My best patients are as good as anyone's,
my work is as good as anyone's, but my average cavity count is going to be higher than a lot of other dentists because I chose to work where I am needed most."

"Don't' get touchy," I said.

"Touchy?" he said. His face had turned red, and from the way he was clenching and unclenching his jaws, I was afraid he was going to damage his teeth. "Try furious! In a system like this, I will end up being rated average, below average, or worse. The few educated patients I have who see these ratings may believe this so-called rating is an actual measure of my ability and proficiency as a dentist. They may leave me, and I'll be left with only the most needy patients. And my cavity average score will get even worse. On top of that, how will I attract good dental hygienists and other excellent dentists to my practice if it is labeled below average?"

"I think you are overreacting," I said. "Complaining, excuse-making and stonewalling won't improve dental health'...I am quoting from a leading member of the DOC," I noted.

"What's the DOC?" he asked.

"It's the Dental Oversight Committee," I said, "a group made up of mostly lay persons to make sure dentistry in this state gets improved."

"Spare me," he said, "I can't believe this. Reasonable people won't buy it," he said hopefully.

The program sounded reasonable to me, so I asked, "How else would you measure good dentistry?"

"Come watch me work," he said. "Observe my processes."

"That's too complicated, expensive and time-consuming," I said. "Cavities are the bottom line, and you can't argue with the bottom line. It's an absolute measure."

"That's what I'm afraid my parents and prospective patients will think. This can't be happening," he said despairingly.

"Now, now," I said, "don't despair. The state will help you some."

"How?" he asked.

"If you receive a poor rating, they'll send a dentist who is rated excellent to help straighten you out," I said brightly.

"You mean," he said, "they'll send a dentist with a wealthy clientele to show me how to work on severe juvenile dental problems with which I have probably had much more experience? BIG HELP!"

"There you go again," I said. "You aren't acting professionally at all."

"You don't get it," he said. "Doing this would be like grading schools and teachers on an average score made on a test of children's progress with no regard to influences outside the school, the home, the community served and stuff like that. Why would they do something so unfair to dentists? No one would ever think of doing that to schools."

I just shook my head sadly, but he had brightened. "I'm going to write my representatives and senators," he said. "I'll use the school analogy. Surely they will see the point." He walked off with that look of hope mixed with fear and suppressed anger that I, a teacher, see in the mirror so often lately.

If you don't understand why educators resent the recent federal NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ACT, this may help. If you do understand, you'll enjoy this analogy, which was forwarded by John S. Taylor, Superintendent of Schools for the Lancaster County, PA, School District.

Be a friend to a teacher and pass this on.

All of the above was in an email forwarded from one teacher to another until it came to my sister Carin, who left the profession this year. I've read it before but felt the need to post it here because I am considering leaving the profession too. A colleague, Christyn Simpkins, says that "Teaching is a calling." She's right. You feel compelled to do it. The first time I walked into a classroom I felt at home.

That first day was as a substitute in an alternative high school. The students were all on parole or the youth equivalent. I got to teach The Bill of Rights that day. We had fabulous discussions about why and how they came to be published. You could see that these children, who had harmed society, never realized that their rights were a gift from far-sighted men who knew the world would change and that we needed laws that would protect the citizens of our country. You could see in these kids faces that they owed society a gift too. The gift of being their best and not their worst. Which is why they chose to go to school and get back on the right track.

The No Child Left Behind (NCLB) act is no longer new. It was the reauthorization of the prosaically titled, Elementary and Secondary Education Act, which had been in existence for decades. The NCLB will go up for reauthorization in 2007. It is seriously flawed, has not lived up to its funding promises and has had alterations monthly since it's inception. If you could write, call or email a senator &/or representative to change it completely, I'd appreciate it. Unfortunately, teachers are not listened to when it comes to this law. We are portrayed as whiners and lacking in caring about standards for students which is the furthest thing from the truth.

The irony in NCLB is that it is leaving multitudes of children behind. It's also leaving teachers, principals, and schools behind in an attempt to gut the public educational system. An educational consultant, Sylvia Alvarez, who works in many states has been compiling evidence of how each state was allowed to comply with the act. In California, the state chose Proficient and Advanced as the only two criteria that count on standardized tests. SO basically A's and A+'s. For all of you former B, C or D students, you'd be failures in the current California educational testing ground. Ms. Alvarez noted, in a workshop on how to target students for better test scores, "If Basic was considered Proficient as it is in other states, there wouldn't be one school or district in the state of California, in program improvement status." Which means that we are getting children to succeed. It just doesn't count. Which is just one of the reasons that I am thinking of turning my back on the whole thing and walking away.

So end of post. I was inspired by the email and felt the need to vent obviously. For those of you who expected something uplifting, or gossipy or well anything else except a rant.....I'm sorry. Maybe next time when I'm not so discouraged.

Take care!

War and Peace

2005-11-02T23:05:00.000-08:00

Picasso's "War and Peace"

I like the peace part.

Perfectly Balanced

2005-10-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

This is a painting by Alfred Gockel titled "Perfectly Balanced." Looking back on today, I was more balanced than I realized. Being balanced is something that I eternally strive for. Comes from living with two Libras for the first twenty years of my life.

My mother generously donated our local newspaper to my language arts class. I get one copy for each child for every weekday. It's wonderful! The kids love it and for a while there some adults were taking (read stealing unintentionally) our papers. They didn't realize until I put up a sign that they were for kids. My kids got very upset when they weren't receiving their copies. They have become so used to looking for different items and sharing with each other. I (evil glint) have to say things like, "It's silent reading time. I know you're excited but let's be quiet." The truth is that I'm thrilled that they love it. However, with this age group if I give it too much approval they'll stop doing it.

Anyway, today one of my students wanted to know my "sign" and I told her that I'm a Capricorn. She excitedly brings me the paper to read my horoscope and points it out....in case I couldn't see it. I started laughing uproariously. I never made it past the second sentence. I will have to check the paper tomorrow. Here's what I read:

Capricorn

Stress is the enemy! Relax!

Once I stopped laughing; all the other students wanted to read my horoscope. They didn't get it but obviously the first one did. I told her, "I know that's the problem. I'm trying. I'm really trying to relax. Thanks ___________." (I'm not using her name because this is a public forum and I adhere to the strict confidentiality agreement set up by my district and state.) So thanks to that student, and that incomplete horoscope, I went through the day trying to feel lighter. As I sit here typing, I realize that I became what I sought to be. A lesson that I know I will have to learn again and again but which feels really tremendous, at this precise moment, as if I accomplished something fantastic.

Which I did~ a better me!

I'm Back

2005-10-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

For those of you who remember me....I'm so sorry that life just had a way of taking over. I was cast as the lead in Bell, Book and Candle and I ended up being the set designer/decorator too. So I have been running constantly. I ended up getting sick again because of sheer exhaustion. So here's a quick recap of what's been going on:

1. I'm up and well and even being mistaken for a sixth grade student (instead of the teacher) at work. It's because I'm short, although, the two teachers who made the mistake said it was because I'm so much thinner than before that they didn't recognize me from behind. I have a tendency to dress casually on yard duty weeks. I think it was the jeans and the short stature but the compliment was nice.

2. On the subject of weight: I made it to the top of my Curves' Looser Board. I was the number one loser of inches and pounds in the month of September so I won a t-shirt! It was cool! My Assistant Principal at work wants to borrow my diet book. The head secretary of my school, Kim Marlowe, has said that I'm her inspiration to keep working out. That's been seconded by my sisters and another teacher at school. I've only bought two new pairs of pants (in late September) and they're both already baggy. Sigh. I don't like spending money on clothes. If I had oodles of cash it wouldn't be a problem. I am also waiting for a complete weather change. No reason to buy warm weather gear when it'll be so much colder soon. I did take in a short sleeved sweater eight inches so maybe I'll just get all my clothes altered. I'm a little too lazy to do it myself.

3. The opening weekends of the show went well. The only low spot was that we had to cancel last Friday for lack of tickets sold. Luckily on days we did perform, I was able to see some "regulars" from Smiler's and Kiley's old days of existence and to see some old acquaintances as well. Hopefully, more friends and family will be able to come in the ensuing weeks. It's a really long run so everyone should be able to make it.

4. I have been phone banking on the behalf of Alliance for a Better California. Members of CTA (California Teachers Association) and firefighters, nurses and police officers make up the Alliance. We are trying to have people vote no on propositions 74, 75, and 76. Tomorrow, I'll be protesting a $25,000/plate dinner fundraiser that is being given for our governor at the local residence of one of our wealthiest citizens. The governor would like to silence firefighters, nurses, police officers and educators with his propositions in his special November election that is going to cost the taxpayers millions of dollars to have. Of course, we can't afford $25,000 to have dinner and have our views heard so we'll be marching and chanting and hopefully, getting others to see why the Governator (not so affectionate term for Mr. Schwarzenegger) is wrong!

SIDE NOTE~Don't like politics? Don't read this blog. My mother was the first woman in this county to run for a state political office. Twice. Luckily she lost because then she went into real estate and was exceptionally successful!!!! I usually keep my political and religious views to myself because others don't....ever. I have to hear about it every time I turn around. Also, to me religion and politics~WHICH SHOULD FOREVER BE KEPT SEPARATE~ are very personal issues. I don't see how people can espouse one thing and do the opposite. Nevertheless, when it comes to writing all bets are off. Since this is my blog I can and will write what I want.

5. My mom won $6000 at the Jackson Rancheria last night. I got to see the winning slot machine. My mom is extremely lucky. We were up at the Rancheria to celebrate my parents' birthdays. (Oct. 3-Dad and Oct . 4-Mom...they were in Hawaii on the actual days.) Large family (14 of the 19 of us) meal in the Raging River Restaurant after swimming the afternoon away. All comped. Which was really cool.

6. My dad may be playing in a poker tournament tonight. I wish I didn't have to work so I could watch that. My dad is not as lucky as my mom. He's also usually very conservative in his bets. He just loves cards and is generally quite good at games. It would be neat to watch him because he does have a fabulous poker face.

7. I'm still on about a billion committees at work but I'm keeping it all in perspective.

8. We now have yoga on site (after work) on certain days. I've managed to make one of the sessions and am looking forward to the next one. I've always loved stretching and am naturally (supremely) flexible so I'm thrilled to be able to do it in a more structured way that covers all the muscle groups.

9. I am celebrating the eighth anniversary of knowing two of my best friends. Shawn Carrington and I were in It's a Scream in 1997 and now he'll be my neighbor. So many more chances to talk and share. We've changed a lot in the last eight years but we've grown together instead of apart. Another one of my best friends was also in that show. Jeanine Michael Rosensteel and I had met before and even worked together before (in California Suite at the Senior Center) and clicked immediately. However, this month marks the beginning of our "best-friendship" as well. I have talked to her nearly every day since that show opened. SO HERE'S TO MAKING FRIENDS THAT LAST!!!! Time really is relative. Sometimes it feels like the three of us just did that show and other times it feels like we've known each other forever not just eight years.

This is Jeanine (on the right) with a mutual friend, Debbie Robinson, who lives in L.A.

10. My brother has never played my brother in a play. He has been my husband, a stranger, an object of lust and my nephew; twice. Onstage my brothers are played by Josephs. Joe Smith has been my brother (Linus in Peanuts; A Holiday Celebration) and Joe Toon is my current onstage brother. I feel like that character, Larry, in the Newhart show. You know, "Hi, I'm Larry. This is my brother, Darryl, and this is my other brother, Darryl." I've started calling whichever one I see my "other brother, Joe."

11. My bio was incorrectly copied by the person who created our programs. I don't even want to write about the errors that occurred. They made me gag.

This is the actual script I typed.

Christina Chavez Nelson (Gillian Holroyd) is a teacher and a tia. She has been acting for paying audiences since she was twelve. Christina was most recently seen in Rising Phoenix Theatre’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile and the Delta productions of How I Learned to Drive and Lysistrata. She is thrilled to work with everyone in the cast again; especially with one of her best friends, Shawn, as a director. She would like to thank her favorite Jason (Preston) for telling her, “...that women have the power” and making her believe it!

Well, that's pretty much it.

Oh, no it isn't.

12. I've been talking and texting regularly with a male friend who use to just be an acquaintance. Things are changing but I don't know how seriously. We're both really busy and romance is pretty much the last thing on our minds but it might head that way. There are definite signs that it could happen. I think, that for now, we're both happy with a deepening friendship. I'll keep you posted.

Kyle's Nude

2005-09-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

This is for Kyle Gundlach (he played Einstein in the play.) It's his favorite Picasso, entitled "Femme." I would like to add that with all the dieting and working out...I'm starting to look more like this than the super-sized version. ;-)

Seven Sevens

2005-09-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

This is an adaptation of a quiz friends of mine have been posting on their blogs. The * questions are ones I made up as substitutes for the originals that didn't do much for me personally. The # questions I altered the wording only slightly.

I. What are seven things you plan to do before you die?
1. Have a baby.
2. Buy my own home.
3. Make a quilt for every member of my family.
4. Get my dad to make me three more bookshelves.
5. Visit~Well, pick a spot on the world and I'd be thrilled to try it out. Some top choices are to return to New Zealand, Italy, Peru and New York City. Also, to visit places I've never been: England, Scotland, Egypt, China, Tahiti & Alaska to name a few.
6. Sew a wedding gown.
7. Wear a HOT dress as a bridesmaid. (Shawn, Shanda and Jeanine that was a hint.)

#II. What are seven things that you can do well?
1. Teach
2. Act
3. Write
4. Dance
5. Take care of others.
6. Give good massages.
7. The splits in all three directions.

#III. What are seven things that you won't or cannot do?
1. Bungee jump or skydive. I wanted to do both, once upon a time, but then I fell six feet straight down into a basement. Now every time I take a small tumble my heart starts to race like when I went crashing into the basement. I'm afraid that I'd go into shock if I tried a big fall.
2. Not get bruised, bumped, scraped, cut &/or gashed weekly. I'm a klutz and I admit it.
3. Sing girly high notes. I lost my voice completely in 1990. It finally returned but my entire upper register was lost. Prior to 1990 I had a great range and great projection. I didn't have the best quality but I could match whomever I was next to so choir &/or musical directors could put me anywhere they needed extra volume. Now I have to be near the baritones. NOT THE ALTOS. I know that that is the description for low female singers but even altos get too high for me at times. Baritones are much more comfortable to be around. The weirdest part is that my brain still thinks I can do it but nothing comes out when I try. Kind of like the phantom limb phenomenon but vocally.
4. Too much noise for too long. I like lots of quiet time so that I can listen to the voices in my own head.
5. Swim in a disaster. I can't stand to watch those movies where they swim underwater forever without taking a breath. I'd be so panicked in that situation that I would end up not holding my breath at all and drowning immediately.
6. Watch a decapitation, even a fake movie one, without feeling ill. I don't like to see any violence done to the neck for any reason whatsoever!
7. I cannot speak objectively about the people I love. I tend to gush.

#IV. What are seven things that attract you to a human being?
1. Intelligence
2. Talent
3. Compassion
4. Humor
5. Great eyes
6. Great smile
7. Ability to let the little shit go.

V. What are seven things that you say the most?
1. "I don't know; can you? Can in English means to know how. You just asked me if you know how to __________________. I haven't seen you do it so I'm not sure." Fill in the blank. Usually said to students when they ask me if they can go to the bathroom.
2. "Hello my name is Ms. Nelson and I'm mean and evil." followed by a brief pause, "I mean it." Yet again to students. Later in the year it's changed to "I told you I was mean and evil."
3. "M'ijo" and "m'ija" to my nieces and nephews.
4. "Take care." To everybody, especially when saying goodbye.
5. "Drive safely." Again to everybody when saying goodbye.
6. "Duh! Of course I will." Because I don't know how to say no unless I have other plans.
7. "I love you."

*VI. What are seven things that you would like to say but don't or are afraid to?
1. "Why are you complaining? Don't you know how blessed you are?"
2. "Mr. Bush are you really that stupid or are you just plain greedy and say what others pay you to say?"
3. "Why don't you love me?"
4. "This is really inane (or moronic, stupid, inconceivable...depending on the day.) I can't believe we're expected to do something so asinine!"
5. "I shouldn't care more about your child's education than you do."
6. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
7. "No."

*VII. What are seven of the nicest things that were ever done for you or said to you?
1. My parents have given me experiences around the country and world through travelling that have been invaluable.
2. Jason "Monkey" Feilzer said, "I wish all women were like Christina." to Jaye and Veg in a van on the way back from the Eddie Izzard concert in San Francisco. I overheard but didn't understand. I asked for clarification, "What do you mean all women were like me? How am I?" He said, "You're you."
3. My sister and brother-in-law told me that if anything happened to them that they would want me to have Robbie, and Carina. (Lelan wasn't born then.)
4. "Tia, Tia, Tia!" Pretty much everytime I hear a niece or nephew say it I get all gooey, warm and mushy inside. By the way, they never just say Tia once. It's always in a set.
5. "Mom." Generally said by students accidentally which is the ultimate compliment.
6. "You're my favorite ______________." Fill in the blank with any of the following: actor, teacher, relative, friend. Hey, popularity can be fun!
7. Jason Preston telling me that, "Women have the power. You just don't choose to use it Christina. If you did then you'd know that you have the power."

Yes, I'm Still Alive--Although Even I Was Wondering

2005-09-12T17:08:00.000-07:00

Today was a work from hell day. I had to be prison guard tough and not crack a smile because my room was a mess and I had to get my kids back on track.

I went home very ill on Thursday afternoon and was in bed all day Friday. O.K. I was actually out of bed at 6:00 a.m. on Friday to take over 100 pounds of salt and 20 pounds of baking soda, 80 plastic baggies and 500 rubber gloves. Not to mention one set of lesson plans for a sub that didn't bother to follow any of what I'd typed late into the night between bouts of nausea. SIGH!

Luckily, my health has returned although my recent sunny personality has not. I hate having to act like a Nazi and not crack a smile. It's so incredibly draining. However, I can't let the kids make up their own rules and trash the room while I'm gone either. Tomorrow will definitely be better. There were glimmers of wonder in the last few weeks. Here's a quick rundown:

1. We're mummifying chickens! It's so strange and so much fun!!! I get to actually connect it to all the subjects I'm teaching. Like the good old days before NCLB. Don't know what NCLB is? Ask a public school teacher but wear a Kevlar vest and duck...quickly...after asking.

2. Dated a guy named Brian for a while. He still calls but I don't know. I doubt it will last more than a few more times because I've recently noticed others around me that are also interested. I've been offered sex more times than I can count lately AND I'VE SAID NO! Also, there's someone who I've known for...wow, I don't even know how long? Two or three years?....who's shown interest and I'm feeling interested back. I can't continue to see Brian if I'm going to go out playing the field. I'm sorry that just cracks me up. I've never had options before, now I'm overwhelmed with them. Somewhat heady, somewhat frightening.

3. We also did an archaeological dig. When I say we I am talking about my sixth grade class and Christyn Simpkins' sixth grade class. We like to team teach. We don't have to we just like to. We didn't get pictures of the dig but we did get pics...are still taking them of the chicken mummies. I'll post some soon. (I hope.)

4. I've barely been able to read blogs let alone post comments and I'm sorry for neglecting this one. (Especially sorry for Wendy, whose poems I love, because everything Wendy puts down makes me think or smile or even hurt...sometimes all three.) Quite a bit is happening out there to so many people. Of course some of the changes are harrowing like the destruction brought about by Hurricane Katrina and other changes while not so disastrous are still acutely felt by those around me. I thank (for lack of a better term) God for those that are surviving and will pull through and I ask for forgiveness and/or support for those who have (in comparison to Katrina's victims) minor travails to overcome.

5. I closed one show, Picasso at the Lapin Agile, and started rehearsals for another. I'm the lead character, Gillian Holroyd, in Bell, Book and Candle for Kiley's Dinner Theatre. One of my best friends in the whole world, Shawn Carrington, is debuting as a director on this production. It's been fun so far....hope that continues. ;-)

6. I saw The Full Monty with friends at Sierra Repertory Theatre in Sonora. I laughed so uproariously that I was still coughing the next day. A lovely byproduct of a good sense of humor.

7. I've sung karaoke at a birthday party and in public. For those of you who don't know I think that singing in public is like being naked without the fun. Think about it...you'll get it.

8. I had an ATM card stolen. Well, they couldn't find it after running a tab in a bar. There was an actual bar brawl....life has gotten interesting on the weekends....and a few cards magically disappeared. Luckily one of the bartenders had the same bank and the card was canceled before any charges were even tried. Then I lived on twenty dollars for an entire week because my new checks aren't here yet either. I finally got my new card on the same day that the bartenders at Bogey's found my old one. Eh, c'est la vie. (Shanda check my spelling on that please.)

9. I made the Curves board last month as the fifth top "looser" of the month. This month I made the board as the top third "looser." I won a mug. More importantly I'm feeling good about how my body is getting stronger and healthier....this weekend aside.

10. I had some truly honest and in depth conversations with quite a few people this weekend. It was nice that I didn't hold anything back and they all appreciated it. No sugar coating, no trying to assuage someone else's feelings. If I was angry I showed it. If I wanted an exchange of rationality it happened. It was all very refreshing to not censor myself. I didn't realize until just now how often I do that.

11. Tomorrow there's a rally because we're still working without a contract. I was voted a union rep for this year (second year in a row.) It's a write-in at our site because no one willingly volunteers. {I'm on the committees for Leadership and Action Team at my site too. Thank God I don't have to participate in BTSA anymore! I was running out of dates to have meetings on as it was.} I hope that we get a contract soon. The latest figure that will be taken out of my monthly check to cover health insurance is being estimated around $225.00. I already use up practically every penny and I don't have dependents...yet...so it is hard to imagine how those with dependents are going to make ends meet. I also have the cheapest plan provided to us. I don't need special medications or to see specialists of any kind. The mind boggles at how insurance can rise 433% in one year. Kind of like gas prices...daily.

Well, I've got to go get ready for rehearsal. I hope that everyone reading this is well and life is treating you as kindly as a puppy would. You know all loving, sticky affection in a bundle of warm fur. I don't know why but it feels like a puppy hugging week. That kind of unconditional love and acceptance is needed more often, don't you think?

Echo

2005-09-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

I found a couple more poems. My mom usually has anything I've ever written. This is stuff even she hasn't seen. I'll need to go through some journals and find some more to post. It's kind of nice to be truly done with it.

These two poems were not necessarily related. I never even titled them but the folder on the computer was titled "Echo" for one of the words in one of the poems. So I guess that's good enough for now. Oh and they were offset from each other for a reason, which I can no longer remember.

Moving through the mist too swiftly
I can’t catch
Your echo.

My heart lost again
Dream.

Cool Midnight Madness

Twisting, arcing, reaching
Naked in the night.

The glimpse of light
Caressing a flowing limb.

X-Terra Tales

2005-09-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

This is the beginning of a short story (or series of tales hence the title) that never got finished. I figured I'd throw it on here for those of you who haven't had much to read lately on my blog. I'm just catching up on my reading of others' blogs. I haven't even really had time to comment let alone write my own posts. I'm glad that I will be able to catch up somewhat on this three day weekend.

Anyway, enjoy! Oh and some of the names have been changed to protect the guilty! (Because, of course, I had to put some reality into it.)

Some guys grab you with their looks. You can’t help feeling, “Wow! He won the genetic lottery!” Others grab you with their wit. However, once he stops making you laugh the tears will well for days. Then there are those guys that you can’t believe could be so talented. You marvel at what he can do and later marvel at how you’re not enough of an audience for him. Finally, there are the smart guys. Smart guys are incredibly stupid when it comes to relationships. They have a tendency to fall for women you can’t stand and think you’re such a good buddy that you want to help them untangle the mess they’ve made of their love lives.

Matthew was none of these. Matthew grabbed me with his smell. He wore something subtle but powerful and it found it’s way into my soul. Well, o.k., it actually went somewhere else first but I was trying not to be vulgar. Unfortunately, I didn’t know it was him. In the process of finding him again I lost my heart but for once not my hold on my sanity. Which if you have ever been in love with a typical American guy you know what I mean.

There are three types of males in the U.S. There are boys, guys and men. (I know I left out teenagers. Teenagers don’t apply to this theory as they are their own subspecies of the human race. I really don’t think teenagers should have their behaviors held against them. Think back to your adolescence and you’ll be less judgmental.) Boys are naturally young males that need to be taught how not to turn into a guy. Sometimes they lose the battle during puberty but occasionally they make it to the hallowed ground of being men. Men are evolutionarily equivalent to women. They are a step, make that a giant leap forward, for their kind. They are responsible, compassionate, dedicated to principles they believe in, not dependent and not excessively demanding. Men are males you can actually talk to and have sex with and not get screwed up emotionally. Guys on the other hand....

I am an observer. I am rarely able to take part in the mating dance because I am a human free zone on the straight man’s radar system. A straight guy looks at a crowd and he’ll hear the little beeps when his eyes scan the women. Not when he gets to me though. I am the Stealth bomber of women. I get looked over completely. No little flashing lights when he looks at me, no tell-tale warning signs that the enemy is in his midst. When a straight guy notices me it is because he needs a friend., a pal, a buddy. A spy in the enemy camp perhaps? Which leaves me feeling eternally like the best friend in a bad teen flick from the eighties. And since, on the inside, I’m still the good middle class girl that I was raised to be, I actually don’t mind helping out as the friend, the pal, the buddy. Although, I can’t help wishing that if my life were a teen flick at least it would be a good John Hughes one. The feel-bad then feel-good kind where the oddballs end up ruling the day. The type of movie that people would move up to DVD players for since they wore their VCR’s out watching my story...sigh.

I suppose I should tell you more about myself. I’m a librarian in a Northern California town by profession and an actress by avocation. Despite popular opinion not all librarians are fuddy-duddy ugly women. In fact, my friend Aurora, is drop dead gorgeous. No one ever believes that she’s a librarian. Sometimes, they don’t believe I am either. I’m passably pretty according to friends. Even on a bad self-esteem day; I will admit that I’m not butt-ugly, just slightly attractive. Have you ever owned a Crayola crayon box? Five-year-old self portraits were easy; Crayola brown hair, Crayola brown eyes and Crayola pink and brown skin, and I was finished with the masterpiece that is me.

It’s not my parents’ fault. They have exotic genes. They just passed them onto my siblings. I’m the normal looking one. My sister is beautiful and my brothers are very handsome. Although my youngest brother is short for a guy. Yes, unfortunately he is still a guy. He hasn’t evolved...yet. However, I’m holding my breath. Our dad is the benchmark for manhood in my mind. I believe that eventually my brother will figure this out and emulate the best man that we know. Well, I’ve always had a blind spot when it comes to the people I love.

Which is where this tale begins.

Mollusk

2005-08-29T18:10:00.000-07:00

I found some old poems in the computer. I figured I'd post them so that I could delete them from the hard drive.

Mollusk

Mollusk
Searching for my shell.

It’s always been here
How could it be lost?

Dissolved under
Your stare.

Penetrating, probing, pleasing
Pushing past barriers
of immense proportions
with a song.

Do you feel it?

This aching softness
The gaping wide hole
of my soul.

The yearning for you
For you...alone.

Then indifference
Callous in its insolence
Contaminating every encounter.
Searing the silkiness with sorrow
Smothering me
Scouring me
Drowning in the
saltiness of your sea.

Mollusk
Searching for my hell.

You

You

Seeking

Seeking from you
my solace.

Seeking from you
my salvation.

Seeking sensations
that will carry me
beyond myself to-

Someplace

Some unknown zone
Somewhere
I’m not me.

Seeing

Seeing your disgust
at my despair.

Seeing your annoyance
at my declarations.

Seeing your abhorrence
of my depravity.

Seeking
yet seeing
the answer was never
You

There's a Fine, Fine Line

2005-08-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

These are the lyrics to one of my (most recent) favorite songs of all time! It's titled There's a Fine, Fine Line. The song is by Jeff Marx and Robert Lopez. It is from their musical Avenue Q. Stephanie D'Abruzzo sang the song for the original Broadway cast. On Saturday 8/27 the cast opens previews in an *exclusive (*can't tour the rest of the country) Las Vegas theater. I would love to go see it!!!!! (Of course, not this weekend since my own show is closing.) I am so in love with the CD that Jaye let me borrow that I can't wait to get my own. Yes, I'm willing to BUY it. No ripping and burning for this one.

Anyway, the lyrics of this particular song made me think about relationships. There are certain parallels in my own life. Well, there would have to be wouldn't there? Otherwise why would I find it so meaningful? Nevertheless, it also fit in with how I've been viewing others' relationships. The fragility and complexity of love is astounding.

There's a fine, fine line
Between a lover and a friend.
There's a fine, fine line
Between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top
If it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line
Between love and a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line
Between a fairy tale and a lie.
And there's a fine, fine line
Between "You're wonderful!" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back
It isn't such a crime.
But there's a fine, fine line
Between love and a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore!
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for!
For my own sanity I've got to close the door and walk away.
Oh~

There's a fine, fine line
between together and not.
And there's a fine, fine line between
What you wanted and what you got.

You've got to go after the things you want while you're still in your prime!
There's a fine, fine line
Between love and a waste of time.

One last thought: Treat your own heart as gently as you should treat others' hearts.

Don Quixote and Anniversaries

2005-08-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

In honor of my mom saying yes to marrying my dad, 41 years ago today, I am posting this Don Quixote by Pablo Picasso. They love the story of Don Quixote and have a copy of this print in the office. They also have a statue of Don Quixote with arms outspread in joy that was hand carved in Spain. They used to put the mail for any of us who had moved out of the main house on the statue. We always knew where to go for those things that never got forwarded. Sometimes when they were going out of town and wanted us to have something (think check or gift) special they would say, "Check Don Quixote." So to me he is a great symbol of hope....and I love the story too.

So Happy Anniversary of agreeing to wed, Mom & Dad! I love you...thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!

For others: Yes, they may actually read this some day. I recently gave my mom my blogadress. It was to let her and my father know that YES I am writing again. (They've been convinced since I was seven that I was going to be a published writer.) I even showed her how to put it in her favorites. The trouble is that she's so busy that I doubt she'll ever read it. Also, I bet she'll need my help to remember how to retrieve it. It helps to be more computer literate then she is. Evil giggle. Of course, most seven year olds are more computer literate than my mom but she's so cute when she figures something out on the computer that you can't help but smile.

My parents moved their real estate office to the current site a year ago and we had a big luncheon celebration. So happy anniversary in your not so new digs anymore, too. Thanks for letting me help out and meet all your favorite Old Republic Title company people and Countrywide lenders. It was nice to be included, even though I'm not a staff member.

This Is Not a Test

2005-08-16T23:46:00.000-07:00

This is not a test of the art blogcasting system. This is The Dream by Pablo Picasso. My parents got me my own copy (framed, YAY!) as an opening night gift. It was very generous of them but then they are known for their generosity so it shouldn't surprise me. I'm going to post some other Picasso's later since I have also shared some of my favorite Einstein quotes.
I hope that whatever you dream tonight, and in the following weeks, brings you either solace, joy or challenges that intrigue you. Good night.

Work Rant

2005-08-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

I went to work yesterday. I had to move every piece of furniture. None of it was where it would work. That's what happens when they mop and put a special wax on the tiles during summer. Everything gets whacked. Oh and the furniture consisted of a couch, a teacher's desk, two rolling carts that are filled with 6 cases of paper and a television set in one and 30 alphasmarts in the other, a white board, 19 double (seats two kids) desks, 34 chairs, and 2 tables. My neck is still sore from tackling the (completely full) filing cabinet. I don't get paid for going in and setting up my classroom, for moving the furniture so that children can actually learn, for making it look welcome with decorations, for putting all the materials out, for finding and rearranging the stuff that was stored before the summer. If I did get paid it would have to be hourly and my district couldn't afford it. In reality, every district in every state would go bankrupt from the extra time teachers put in without reimbursement if they were actually forced to compensate us for all the time we put in. Don't even get me started on correcting or planning!

The worst part about being in my room this week is that we finally have nice (meaning it's not 100+ degrees) weather and the HEATER is turned on in my room. There's some new control box on it. Actually that's a misnomer. It's really a non-control box because I have no way to alter the settings and the whole thing is locked, apparently pre-programmed and run remotely through a separate site!!!! I think our first set of experiments in science will be on how hot our room can get before they do something about it. Wouldn't that look good in the local newspaper? Evil laugh.

Wow! I just realized that I've been venting (some might say ranting but I'm trying to be positive) a lot lately. I've been surrounded lately by a great deal of negativity...I guess it's rubbing off. I'm sorry if any of this made anyone uncomfortable....at least I don't feel it anymore. Which is the whole purpose of a blog now isn't it?

More later. Take care!

Start Over Sculpture

2005-08-10T23:58:00.000-07:00

Congratulations Joe! Right again.

Now for the new post~who created this sculpture and what's its title?

I hope this stumps Joe but no one else....because I have to admit his current one is stumping me. At first I thought, Joan Miro. But Miro is a little thick with his black lines and isn't so meticulous with his faces. Joe won't even give me extra guesses so I can't put the wrong one down, even as a joke, like last time. Even though he is a professional at that game with the little ball and people get to try tons of times to get it into a hole. Then they get seventeen more holes to keep trying to get into. How is it fair to only get one shot? How about basketball? They usually get two free throws. Baseball you get three strikes before you're out. Yeah, I know, whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch...

Nevertheless, anyone guessing about this sculpture can try as often as possible! Yes, even Joe. Get creative or get it right. Either way it's just for fun. Besides, I think that life is more fun when you can start over.

Art 101

2005-08-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

Here's another one Joe. I'm sure you'll get it as you have shown a very eclectic side to your personality with your art posts. Good luck to the rest of you. I'm sure it looks familiar. Now who's the artist and what's the title?

Touching

2005-08-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

About touch~ there are many aspects to it. So here's a thank you to just some of those people that touch me.

Thank you Annie! You touch my mind with your thoughts on politics and social issues. It is so enjoyable to read words that are passionate about the writer's cause(s). I thank you also for introducing me to Progressive Pete.

Thank you Illimitable Voices! Your poetry touches my heart in a way that I still cannot describe. I'm not usually at such a loss for words. Luckily you never appear to have that problem. May you continue to create!

Thank you Wendy! You touch my soul. Every time I read your blog there is always something fascinating to look at. More importanly I find your honesty to be not only refreshing but empowering. Your words make me laugh, cry, go "aw", hurt for you, sigh, feel irate on your behalf, well...basically the full range of emotions. It feels like a present everytime I open your blog because I don't know what it will contain that day. You are truly a special individual!!!!

To all of you: I'm almost sad on days that there is nothing there for me to read. Thank you for touching my life!

Insight

2005-08-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading my Inner Sight post in a new window. As I did it occurred to me that it's not just allowing others to help me with negative emotions. While my main change is going to have to be drawing strength from others I now know that I also have to start accepting compliments in a much more gracious manner. I have to stop "pooh-pooing" when someone says something nice to me. I need to realize that maybe that person has an insight about me that I need to hear and acknowledge. And most importantly believe.

Inner Sight

2005-08-08T11:44:00.000-07:00

So Friday night I got to see South Pacific live for the first time ever. It was a fabulous production! I'm picky when it comes to musicals but it was just wonderful! South Pacific is special to my family. I grew up listening to the music. The night my father met my mother he sang "Some Enchanted Evening" to her across a crowded room. It must have worked because they're still together 41 years later.

After the play I hung out with friends. It was a blast in one way and very serious in another. There was all this joking going on. I was laughing so hard that I began to do my trademark cough. Any time I overexert myself with laughter I begin to have this hacking, smoker-like cough. (Point of clarification>No, I don't smoke.) However, despite the hilarity that was the main attraction there were some serious side conversations that just made me appreciate the happiness that much more. There were some topics brought up in the asides that were worrisome at best and depressing at worst. I hope the issues are cleared up with a satisfactorily happy ending.

Ironically enough, yesterday I told my sister-in-law, Rae Ann that while I enjoy them I don't need the traditional, Hollywood type, happy ending at the end of books or movies. What I do need is some small glimmer of hope that there will be a happy ending at some future point. To paraprase my lines from Steve Martin's Picasso at the Lapin Agile; "I can write my own happy scenarios in my head." So long as there is the glimmer of hope that characters can overcome their dilemmas then I can see a different ending farther down the line for them. Imagination is a powerful thing. I'm very blessed to have a good one. However, the romantic in me wants everyone I love to have happy endings in real life...where they are less likely to occur. There's yet another irony.

On Saturday, I had a psychic reading by the great, Bobi Cheney. In a nutshell I have to stop giving so much and start receiving. I know, I know. Gutter thoughts are in my head right now too as I reread that sentence. It's not that kind of receiving. I have to truly believe that I'm worthy of being loved and to let people help, support and/or love me instead of putting up barriers to them.

Strangely enough, on Thursday I (for lack of a better term) "made up" with my friend Jason. He said that he was not mad at me. That there was something about the play that he was going to talk to me about but just when he was going to I corrected it the same night. He said he just pulls away from everyone during a breakup. I felt bad for him and gave him a hug and then I just started crying. It took me by surprise as much as it did Jaye. Unless it's onstage most of my friends have never seen me cry. Come to think of it, it's rare for my family too. I really haven't allowed others to see my anger, my hurt or any other "negative" emotion. I guess I'm afraid that they won't respect me anymore let alone care about me anymore. Which is wrong. I need to be willing to be in a bad mood and have others help me out of it. I need to be willing to cry and not just "in character" but as myself and know that others will give me a shoulder to cry on and not think less of me.

I need to allow myself to be weak....which is how the story of Jason fits in. In a moment of clarity I said to him that being strong for others was starting to take its toll. That I was finding it difficult to keep it up and now that Shawn was going through a break up I didn't know if I had it in me anymore. I know now that I will be able to help Shawn but I also am going to stop being hypocritical. I am going to allow others to do for me what I do for them. I never think less of anyone that is hurting so I have to stop thinking less of myself when I'm going through it.

So while I am as far from Nellie Forbush, the lead female character in South Pacific, as it is possible to be on a postive-negative index I'm going to try to uphold the ideal that she espouses in "Cock-eyed Optimist" because when it comes down to it I do want happy endings! And for once, not just for other people but I want to believe that it's possible even for me.

Ready, Set, Draw

2005-08-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

My friend and current castmate, Joe Smith*, has been posting works of art on his blog. Recently he decided he would start putting a piece up and having a question about it. However, the first one was too easy!!!!! Talk about a softball! So for more of a challenge I'm going to try it. Can you identify the artist, title and time period of this painting? (Hints will follow.)

*Joe Smith really is his name. It's not a stage name for something unpronounceable.

Technical Difficulties

2005-08-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks Wendy and Shanda for pointing out that the comments section for the last post was not working. I couldn't access it either. Then when I went to edit the entire post was gone?!?!? I could see the post when I logged on but it wasn't in my posting area all of a sudden. So I tried to republish the whole thing (Shanda's idea) which for some reason wiped it off of my computer. I finally had to copy from the screen and paste onto a new page. (Another one of Shanda's ideas.) Then I had to edit the date, font, color, etc. so that it was like the first one. You should be able to comment now. It seemed to work at midnight....maybe it doesn't like daytime. Who knows?

I'm glad that I read both of you daily because I can always correspond with you that way, if my blog starts acting up again. I actually lost a draft that I had worked on for half an hour (after the other post) and was going to complete tonight. When I went to save...it just disappeared. Of course maybe the blog gods thought that I had already had diarrhea of the mind and needed to shut up...or at least let go?

So I wasn't all that surprised that the comments area for the prior post was all messed up. I guess I was just having technical difficulties. (Thanks for letting me use your blog's title, Steph.;-O)

Keep smiling even when the little things irritate you. Because they aren't permanent, right Wendy? Although I agree with you that it would be nice if the good stuff was.

Anyway, good night. Take care! Don't let the blog-bugs bite!

Disjointed Thoughts

2005-08-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

Lots of different thoughts in my head. For once they don't flow together. So I'm just going to throw them out there and get rid of them. Sorry for those of you reading, since I can normally tie them together much better than this post.

1. Daytime t.v. was always forbidden in my parents' house. (Actually, we weren't allowed much nighttime television either.) Even when I was living 3,000 miles away; I could still hear my mother's voice in my head if I turned on the television in the daytime. I could hear her say quite clearly, "Shouldn't you be outside playing? Isn't there something more worthwhile than that? Turn that thing off!" So while others were doing truly rebellious things in adolescence, my one great rebellion was watching soap operas or syndicated comedies before my parents got home from work. So yes, sometimes when ill or on vacation I get the urge to actually watch television when the sun is out. It's very much a guilty pleasure.

2. Today I was watching "Starting Over" (gasp) during the daytime. The episode made me cry. (My mom's karmic revenge for watching when I shouldn't? You be the judge.) Just when there was a comment that had me laughing the phone rang. I was wiping my face and trying not to sniffle as I said, "Hello." It was one of my best friends, Jeanine. She heard the tears in my voice and was concerned. After I laid her worries to rest I noticed her own voice was all choked up. It turned out that another one of my best friends was, (well, darn the English language doesn't really have a good word for this....) dumped. His boyfriend said that they were going in different directions and that they shouldn't be together anymore. Apparently there was an email sent but I hadn't been online all day. That's why Jeanine was crying. As she was talking I was texting this to yet another best friend. After Jeanine hung up, my friend, Shanda called. So I relayed what Jeanine had told me. Shanda was pretty shocked and hurt by it too. It occurred to me that Shanda and her Jason, Shawn and his Jason, and Jeanine and her Mike all hooked up with each other at around the same time. I use to make jokes that I was no longer needed now that they were all happy. Well, they have all managed to be put aside for different reasons and at different times. And yes, they've needed me (will most likely continue to do so) but I would gladly take back all the jokes to know that each one of them was happy with someone who appreciated them and was gentle with their hearts.

3. My friend and director, Jason, is very mad at me. I don't know why. He won't say and we haven't had any time alone together for me to ask. I know that he's said things lately that make me uncomfortable. Also, he's done things that I don't think are really him and that's frustrating. However, it's more frustrating to not be able to talk about it. I hope he comes around. For while I love the man, right now I'm not so sure I like him.

4. Hi to Lori and Jesse Baird. I loved Lori's email and it is flattering to know that you're reading the blog.

5. My family has what we call Breakfast Burritos at my parents' house on Sunday mornings. It's sporadic at best. We'll be on a kick of every Sunday and then something will come up to change that. So then it'll turn into once or twice a month. Eventually we'll end up skipping a couple of months until we get back into the weekly groove. My family is very close! I have been exceptionally blessed in that. I often feel guilty when I complain about other aspects of my life considering that I'm so truly lucky to have parents, siblings and in-laws that are also friends.

6. I signed up for The Sperm Bank of California's newsletter. As I approach 40 it occurs to me that I will most likely not ever be able to have a child in the traditional way. When I told Shanda she laughed. When I told Jeanine she "oh" ed. When I told my family (the adults) at Breakfast Burritos yesterday, they nearly screamed with excitement. I mentioned that I learned that as of (today) August 1, the FDA's regulations, will make the price of sperm jump. So I'm just going to get the newsletter and if it's going to happen and yes, I'm still questioning it, that it won't be until next year in late winter or early spring. Reactions from the family were all positive~My sister-in-law, Rae Ann, said, "You know if it's expensive we'll all pitch in." Which means a lot because my brother and Rae Ann never have extra $. My other sister-not-in-law, Karie said, "You know my mother will help with that." Her mom's an ob-gyn and has told me on numerous occasions, "You don't need a man to get pregnant! I'll knock you up." Which I repeated to great gales of laughter. My parents were very excited. I was the last to leave on Sunday and my dad just said, "It's right! It's just right that you have a child." I drove my mom to her office and as I was leaving she said, "You should do it now, Christie. You know we'll all help. You'll be such a great mother." Since I consider her the best mom on the planet that was the ultimate compliment. Yes, I even told her so. However, I'm still debating it. I always thought it was kind of selfish for a woman to have a child on her own. So I'm struggling with the thought that I could be that selfish. Hmmmmmmmmm....still up in the air. I'll let you know how it turns out.

7. Ironically enough, a few hours after I signed up for the newsletter online, my ex-husband called. I haven't seen him for about a year and strangely he hasn't called in all that time either. He usually calls every 3-6 months and we see each other maybe once a year now. Of course my take on the divorce is that he stopped wanting to have children and then he stopped wanting to be married. There were a few other reasons but that's what it boils down to. It was nice to catch up for the most part. Although, he did impart some bad news. My pseudo-former-father-in-law, Garrett, is really ill. He's been having a cross between mini-strokes and seizures. He won't tell Chris (the ex) what his condition is called. When Chris asks Garrett just tells him, "Basically my brain is dying." Dixie, Garrett's wife, called to tell Chris that Garrett has been deteriorating faster in the last six months. Garrett and Dixie were always absolutely wonderful to me! They still think that Chris letting me go was the mistake of his life. I feel saddened to know that Garrett may not be here for much longer. By the way, I will post the back story to the pseudo-former-in-laws statement some other time.

8. I had a fabulous time with my friend, Tony, on the way to Jeanine's for movie night on Saturday. He instinctively (?) knew I needed to laugh (it's been a very up and down period lately) and had a comedy album on his ipod for me to listen to. It was all very relaxing and congenial. Later, we couldn't get over the fact that we were able to find two movies: "Constantine" and "Be Cool" that none of us (Jaye was there too) had seen. It was one of the best double feature nights we've had.

9. My PG& E bill was extortionately high. It was three times more than my last two payments. I guess that I'll just have to sweat out the 100+ degree days without air conditioning if I want next month's bill to be normal. Of course I have the a-c on right now but it's set at a higher number than normal. The trouble is that it's already 102 and not even the hottest time of the day yet. Lord!

10. I have been on a diet since the end of May. I was off it for the entire three weeks in New Zealand but when I returned at the end of June I went straight back on. I, also, started going back to Curves regularly. So I've now lost 23 pounds and am still working on the rest of the weight that I need to get off my body. I'm doing it for health reasons not vanity. I have very good health and I don't want to jeopardize that with being overweight. (According to the CDC's body mass index calculator I'm obese. Shanda said their calculator is whacked. I'm paraphrasing her by the way.) I haven't wanted to tell anyone about the diet because it's embarrassing. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable eating around me or ill at ease for not knowing what to serve me. Some people are starting to notice though. That makes me feel a little bit better about sharing the news. I still have a way to go but am feeling good about my progress.

11a. Thanks Wendy and Shanda for always updating your blogs. I'm a little obsessed with reading others' thoughts while on this vacation. I'm sorry that I don't update nearly as often.
11b. Joe, Tony, Monkey UPDATE your blogs, please.

12. Some favorite quotes of mine by the late, great Mr. Albert Einstein:
a. "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
b. "No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"
c. "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
d. "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
I chose to put d in my bio for "Picasso at the Lapin Agile" because it is so fitting for that play. Anyway, thanks for reading. I'm off to work out, shower and then rehearsal. Take care of yourselves and may you see a dream fulfilled by the end of the week!

Top Unrequited Love Songs

2005-07-29T00:21:00.000-07:00

I was in love for the first time with Ross Moreno. It was an unrequited love way back in my high school days. He didn't know I existed. Then when he noticed me it was just to ask for an introduction to my friend, Tanis. The following year it was to hear as his (gag) friend all about Ria Bustamante. I got to hear the details about how much he cared for her before, during and after their time together. Ross was the first but not the last of my lamentable crushes. I do have a knack for finding a wonderful guy who just wants to be friends. SIGH. So in honor of Ross and all those others who didn't love me (well, at least not the way I wanted them to love me) I dedicate the following songs. {The songs were not necessarily written by the artists. I just prefer these versions. You'll have to look up the songwriters for yourself.}

Honorary Mentions to Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne and You Went and Saved the Best for Last by Whitney Houston because of their happy endings.
#10. Cold, Cold Heart by Norah Jones
#9. I Can Love You Better by The Dixie Chicks
#8. What Am I to You by Norah Jones
#7. Crazy for This Girl by Evan and Jaron
#6. Take a Chance on Me by ABBA
#5. How Do You Like Me Now by Toby Keith
#4. There's Your Trouble by The Dixie Chicks
#3. He's Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon
#2. Insensitive by Jann Arden
#1. I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt

Yes, I Have a Cat

2005-07-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention (No Tony, you weren't the only one) that many of my friends had no clue that I have a cat. In fact I've had said cat for nearly 17 years. On January 6, 1989 my sisters and brother gave her to me as a belated birthday present. I've been worried about her because she seems thinner than usual for the summer. She was most likely a runt according to the shelter where my siblings found her. So it's not like I'm not use to her being small. It's just that I can feel all of her vertebrae, and her pelvis seems exceptionally pointy.

She has always been afraid of people. Which is why she hasn't even been seen by most of the people who know and love me. I think she's a great judge of character because she loves me unconditionally and she took forever to warm up to Chris, my ex-husband. (Obviously a sign I should have taken into consideration.) She loved Michael on sight. Which was a first. (Yet another sign? I had to agree with her on that one, too.) She's recently come out of her shell when either Jeanine or Shanda are visiting. So she knows a good friend when she sees one.

I named her Ariel. No, not after "The Little Mermaid!" I had her for a year or two before that Disney movie came out. Ariel means Lioness of God in Hebrew. It just fit her. She acted like a little lioness as a kitten, trying to catch insects out of the air. It use to crack me up to watch her stalk things.

I know that she is old and I have tried to be prepared for the day when she will leave this earth but the truth is I think I will be a basket case on that day. And many more after that.

Well, she's been meowing at me to leave the computer. She does that when she thinks I should stop reading late into the night, too. So I'm going to listen to my oldest friend, and go to bed.

My wish for all readers~may you have some one or some thing in your life that loves you and watches out for you the way my cat does for me.

Michael

2005-07-27T01:27:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of Michael. Yes, the Michael. I called him yesterday before rehearsal. I was thinking about how he called me out of the blue on his break last week. So I thought I'd show that I can call. He seemed surprised to hear from me....almost as if he didn't recognize my number from the caller i.d. I guess it just cemented the fact that eventually we'll break up. Although, as I ponder it, I don't know that we were ever really together. So odd. I do wish we could stay friends somehow because he really is the nicest guy....sigh.

Oglethorpe

2005-07-27T00:51:00.000-07:00

From top left going clockwise:
Shawn Carrington, Jason Vocque, Jason Krause, Shanda Davis, Tony Yaghi, Jr., Jeanine Michael Rosensteel, Me, Liz Smith, Joe Smith

The Last of the Dalin Bash Photos

2005-07-27T00:25:00.000-07:00

I hope his wishes came true!
This is Haley, Dalin's youngest sister. No, she's not six but she knows her brother is. He was telling my sister-in-love, "No, Mommy that's too many!" when she started to put more than five. I guess he forgot that he was now a year older. I said, "Dalin, how old are you?" And Haley shouted, "He's six, Tia!" So I had to get a picture of her showing me how old he was.

Dalin's Bash 2

2005-07-27T00:10:00.000-07:00

Ah to be six and have a world of wishes at your fingertips!!! Do they come true if you tell?
Dalin loved the glow worm caves in New Zealand! I bought this book for him there. I also got him one that was a folk tale about how the Maori learned to fish. I couldn't compete with the grandparents and other aunts and uncles when we first started having kid birthdays. However, I KNOW BOOKS! So I became the book giving tia. (Tia is Spanish for aunt.) Now the kids all look forward to what books they are going to receive for their birthdays and Christmas. Instead of cards, I always write something on the flyleaf or inside cover. One Christmas when Dalin was about three and a half, he said, "No Mama. Let me read it!" to my sister when she was going to read what I had put down. He said, "Dear Dalin, I love you very, very, very, very, very much! I hope you love this story as much as I do. Merry Christmas. Your Tia." He wasn't that far off. There was a little more to it than that but it was pretty accurate. Now, of course, he reads beautifully, as do his cousins. It makes me proud that I helped a little with that.

Dalin's Bash 1

2005-07-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

This is my nephew, Lelan. He has yet to get the back of his hair cut because every time they try, he moves his head back and forth like a crazy person. He already is at the "terrible twos" stage and he's only 19 months!
This is my oldest nephew, Robbie. He's Lelan's and Carina's older brother and usually never wants to take pictures. Adia, his cousin, is the same way. I was shocked they let me take pictures of them.
For some reason my dad thought it would be fun to put Lelan in this bag after Dalin had already taken the presents out of it. Lelan loved it. All the other kids started to want their own bags right after they saw him in it. The only thing that stopped them was the pinata. Candy makes everyone stop, now doesn't it?