Ooooh! Freaky!

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable. Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

I Don't Get This

Copied straight from Jeanine's Bulletin Board post. I have no idea who originally authored it....if it was her she didn't say. My answers are in bold.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY. (Let's see if you can get through it. If not, you're too scared about your past)
-Longest relationsip
Define relationship for me, please. If person you're in contact with that you love>40 years, if creature you live with and love>17 going on 18 years, if LOVER person that you hung out with or lived with or whatever then 7 years.

-Shortest relationship
Does one night stand count? Especially if he asked to marry you and that's why he only got one night?

-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?
All of them. What's not to love?

-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?
Person you were with? SO AMORPHOUS!!!!! If you mean romantically with then I did.

-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
If you haven't been hurt by someone you loved then you didn't love them at all. People that you love know your most vulnerable aspects and sometimes they trample all over your fields of weakness.

-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
No, I intentionally go out of my way to make them happy...which has led to tears of my own.

-Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Neither. I'm happy wherever I am. If I'm single today then I'm happy. If I'm "WITH" (God that's annoying) someone then I'm happy. Happiness is not nor should it be gauged on who you are with externally but on how you feel about yourself. People that need others to make them complete don't know how to love themselves. Happiness comes from within. So does misery. You choose which way to be regardless of your relationship status.

-Have you ever been cheated on?
No. I at least have had the brilliance to fall for monogamous men.

-What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
The same thing it is in the same sex: Intelligence.

-Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes (twice if you're counting) and thank God I did. What a misanthropic way to live if at the age of 40 I hadn't. It's also been banged around and bruised but then so has the rest of me....lost count on that.

-Have you ever broken someone's heart?
No. At least no one has ever told me that I broke their heart. Which I guess is a blessing. It means I was careful with the emotions of people I love(d).

-Talk to any of your exes?
Any time they contact me. I happen to be on good terms with anyone I've ever "been with" sexually, romantically, married to, etc. They all go on and on about how wonderful I am. Just goes to show that it wasn't meant to be. I can't hold that against them. Why should I? An ex is an ex for a reason. Doesn't mean I can't like the person just because I can't be "WITH" (I think I'm going to gag if I have to type that word one more time. ;-) You think I jest but I don't.) him in a love/sex/committment way.

-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
NEVER! If I did then I wouldn't be the me that I am now. I wouldn't be living the life that I am now. Each one of those relationships honed a facet of my personality and character. Each one gave me a history I can look back on. What's the point in going back and erasing that?

-Think any of your exes feel the same way?
Actually most of my exes (flames, lovers, husband) think the opposite. Almost each one has commented (some quite recently :-O) that they would love to "get back together again." SO NOT HAPPENING>because the past is the past and that is the way it should stay. I don't believe in revisionist history or fairy tales that the second, third, whatever time around will be better than the last. If it had been meant to stay then it would have. I need to honor the fact that it didn't and move forward.

-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I don't know if I'd make a good boyfriend not having a penis and all but if you read the last paragraph then you know I make an awesome girlfriend...if I do say so myself. Well, actually I don't have to say so since my exes say it for me. My pseudo-currents do too.

-Have you dated people who were not good to you?
I don't date really. I know someone for a long time through school, work, or theater and then at some point the relationship changes and goes to next level. Or in case of a few, lustful pickups that turned into long term hangouts. If someone isn't "good" to me then that's my fault...I am allowing them to be that way. You don't have to have those people in your life. I mean yes I know that we all have work, family, activities of interest we engage in where we are STUCK dealing with some hideous people but if you're talking about someone you SUPPOSEDLY love than why would you let them do that to you? Only answer is because you're foolish enough to think that's what you deserve. YOU DON'T!!! No one does. Don't victimize yourself...get out, move on. It is possible...not easy but possible and in the long run you learn that you are your own strength and you WON'T allow someone to put you in that position again.

-Have you been in an abusive relationship?
Physically>no. Emotionally and verbally>yes and that's how I learned my most valuable lesson. You only allow others to do unto you what they will. If you let them treat you wrong they will. If you INSIST on being treated right you will. It's up to you.

-Have you dated someone older then you?
No. Although have recently started chatting with one who is...and he's pretty darned special....we shall see.

-Younger?
All the time. From a few months to many years. For some reason younger men find me very attractive.

-Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?NOPE. Regrets are silly. Making mistakes is a part of life. Luckily all the people...not just bfs...that I love, or have loved know the goodness of my heart and have always understood any of my foibles.

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Of course. I always thought the saying was backward. I believe forgiveness is human and forgetting divine. Learning to forget someone's errors automatically gives them another chance.

-Believe in love at first sight?
Ever met my parents? They knew instantly and this week was their 42nd wedding anniversary. After two weeks of bliss they married and lived happily ever after....actually happier than the night they met and told others "That's the one for me."

-Ever dated two people at once?
Dated no...didn't you read above. OK "slept with"....sort of....alternated days....couldn't keep it straight after a week. It was my walking on the wild side July. Every July something special happens for me. At least in the 2000's. That was one freaky summer month a few years back. Didn't know what hit me.....eventually one was more important than the other. Because you don't need a fuck buddy when you have someone else who engages your heart and mind as well as your body.

-Ever been given an engagement ring?
Yes. My fiancee, later husband and even later than that ex-husband was a student and unemployed at the time, so I had to buy it myself. He wanted to propose to me in front of my family at my birthday and romantically asked me first, "Do you have enough money in the checking account to cover a ring?" AND I SAID YES....remember what I wrote earlier...you only get what you allow others to give.

-Do you want to get married?
Not particularly. I've stated before that the man to get me to change my views on my being married would have to be a god.

-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
HERE? Why would I? When they contact me I tell them, "I'm glad I loved you (liked you, lusted after you...hey, depends on the relationship we had) because you taught me something valuable. What are you doing now?" Then I berate them if it's not good for their health: emotionally,mentally, physically, financially or otherwise. Followed up with questions about people that were also part of our shared past: their family members, closest friends, etc. I always cut off the conversation when it heads into that zone of "I was a fool to let you go." Maybe it was their loss but it just wasn't meant to be or they'd still be here.

-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Of course not. Why do you have someone in mind?

-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
OF COURSE I'm HUMAN. It's a natural progression that you like others around you....especially those that are similar in taste to people you care about. Doesn't mean you have to do anything about it...contrary to popular opinion.

-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
It's worse. And a breakup heartbreak is nothing compared to someone who has been married or in lifelong partnership and the other spouse dies. That heartbreak can kill you. Actual studies have been done to show that if you can outlive a partner by one year then you will live to full term of your lifetime. BUT usually a longterm relationship loss of that magnitude kills the remaining spouse within the year. Being celibate and afraid to love for four years seems mild in comparison.

Repost this as the "uncomfortable survey"

NOW THAT'S THE PART I DON'T GET?!?!?!? WHY WOULD THIS SURVEY BE UNCOMFORTABLE????

Just When You Think You Know Yourself...

Wow! This is trippy...so thought I'd be a different character. Not Carrie...ever.

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date.But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal?It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky.Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Flat Tire Buoyant Life

So I'm sitting in the waiting room of Sears' auto shop. I'm waiting for the new tire to replace the flat that I inadvertantly gave myself earlier in the day. Which reminded me of Valentine's Day. In a way.....

Six months ago plus a day I was getting two (because when older always better to replace two, if not all four...I listened Dad...see?) new tires at Sears and it was going to take a long time. They were really backed up. Everyone and their brother was getting auto work done. So I walk across the parking lot to the local Barnes & Noble to get a coffee. Too tired, bedraggled to even shop for books so you KNOW I was down.

I sit at last available cafe table with my venti soy latte and hear the ring tone that indicates someone's leaving me a text. Look down and it's my favorite smart-ass Joe Smith.
Here is a Tony Yaghi version of that conversation:
JS>What are you doing?
Moi>Trying to get dry, warm up and not feel miserable. Kind of resigned. You?
JS>Watching kids movies with Liz and kids.
Moi>Oh that's right that's this weekend. I don't want to interrupt. Have fun.
JS>Why need to get dry?
Moi>Flat tire.
JS>Need help?
Moi>No, I changed it already. It's already at Sears they're putting on two new ones.
Moi again because don't have much space when texting>It's going to be a while. (see earlier part of blog...pretty much same info.) Drinking latte.
JS>Want company?
Moi>No, I'll be fine.
JS>You sure?
Moi>Actually I'd love some company but don't want to intrude.
JS>Need to get out of house.
Moi>Lol. You can't sit still that long. Must be torture.

So in the end Joe ended up coming over because I was told it would be hours and I was stranded. We drank our Starbucks drinks, he told me stories that made me laugh. I told him what Liz would want as a drink for him to take home.We made jokes about this one book that had great title but all the copies were so jammed into a revolving rack that you couldn't pull it out to buy. Eventually, got a call from Sears that it was still not ready and would take longer than expected. I was supposed to go see a play with Shanda (who was still on drive to Stockton.) So Joe took me home and dropped me off so I could clean up in time to jump in car with Shanda and go.

An everyday occurrence of a friend helping a friend. I was grateful. Went back to Barnes & Noble the next day when car was finally done and found unjammed copy and bought it for Joe as a thank you present. Thought that was the end of the story until yesterday when I had to get replacement tire.

I saw on computer screen that it was six months ago that bought last pair. But the most important part I noticed about the date was its proximity to Valentine's Day. February 17. Now if you've read this blog you know how I feel about VD. ;-) It's such a stupid, silly RETAIL holiday. When I had this epiphany. What Joe did for me was the best kind of present. One that any woman would appreciate. I was feeling as flat as my tire and he saw that and filled me up with good stories, companionship and a little caffeine. When someone anticipates your needs and fulfills them that is the ULTIMATE gift.

So I had this epiphany yesterday that if a guy wanted to give me tires (1 to 4...whatever) I would think that was the most awesome VD gift in the world. Because of the hassle and wait time, etc. Tires would be a sign of caring and the traditional VD presents: jewelry, champagne, roses, dinner is nothing compared to someone who wants to take care of you. Like those Michelin ads say...think about what's riding on your tires.

So I kept looking outside to the hall for Shanda because she's visiting this weekend just like last time and had my second and more grateful epiphany. I thanked God for the air in my tires. The air that is my family and fabulous friends like Joe, Liz, Shanda, Christyn and Shawn. The air that is new acquaintances like Paul and Brett. And I felt as jaunty as my newly balanced and nicely aligned car.

AND YEAH >It didn't hurt that I'd bought the road hazard protection plan and my new tire didn't cost me a thing!

Hence the title of this post: Flat Tire Buoyant Life

Yet another reminder that this is my favorite year of life!

Heart

Some people touch your heart instantly. Some burrow in over time. Some sledge-hammer you with their needs and nearly bludgeon you out of existence. And others touch you so slightly that you don't notice the influence they left on you until it's too late to thank them for their presence in your life.

The Band {You know who you are ;-) }
Instantaneous

Limo Buds
Burrowers

The Family
Instantaneous

The Exes
Sledgehammer

The Colleagues
Burrowers

Aurora C., Judy W., Jason P., Mrs. Trusaker
Butterfly Touch

Truthfully everyone you meet can be a combination of them all. Which then means that you too have the capacity to touch others with your love, charisma, charm, needs, wants and anguish....touch as lightly as possible. Effleurage like a feather. Create change by being.

Lioness

Lioness

My feet echo across the worn planks

Rough, Unfinished

zoned for construction

but untouched

since destruction

because of

you.

Musical refrain playing through my head

Your age

Such an innocent number

On the brink of awareness

One step from the unknown

In my time.

An age of experience

On the brink of finality

One step from the unknown

In your time.

Our souls entwined

for all these

years.

A continent's span

A tumbling of time away

Could not separate

Our Bond.

You tolerated others

But loved

me.

Always picking up where we left off.

You knew

Instinctively

That which was right for me.

Rarely did I listen.

And now

You

Struggle.

I lean into assist

Saddened by your dependency.

Yet

You are

Determined

to face this next challenge

alone.

You have my permission

Let your soul flee

When it is time.

And when it is time

My soul

will echo across this

Rough, Unfinished world

Worn and

missing yours.

Polarity Hold

Polarity Hold

Pole of heat
Gently pulsating
against my hands.

I pull away
Yet I still feel you.
Farther still but...
Your energy is moving me.
My muscles itch
You say you tingle.

My turn
Who flipped the switch?
My shoulders ease
surprising me as I didn't know they were burdened.
I no longer feel
Just pulsate....

My insides being pulled

sideways by you

Now gone.

They said it was a release.
They're right.....yet......
How do they know?

Cool (hard to believe) August Nights {and somewhat cool days too!}

Happy Birthday

Rae Ann Nelson

Karie Nelson

Andy Nelson

Christopher Shore

Frith Stevenson

Ann Samuelson

Brent Teasedale

Jason Vocque

Rob Chase

Happy Anniversary

Mom & Dad

Dixie & Garrett Kinser

Andy & Colleen Nelson

Joe & Liz Smith

Frith & Gary Stevenson

Rob & Bea Chase